Half Alive
by twice the rogue
Summary: Dark Fic. After Kurt is attacked he finds himself drawing away from reality. Will Blaine and his family be able to help him back? Full warnings inside. Is Klaine but far from fluffy.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, Firstly Warnings, Graphic Rape, Self-Harm and Suicide attempts. If any of these are triggers or will upset you then please do not read.

Secondly:

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or the characters from glee and I am not making a profit from them.

Thirdly:I'm not sure where I'll be going with this. Likely to be short chapters from different perspectives.

Half Alive Chapter One

The sound of flesh on metal surprised Kurt. He had not been expecting it and it took him a couple of moments blinking in shock before he realized that it was not his own flesh making that sound as it used to when Karosky was at school. There was a hand next to his head. One that had left a dent in the metal of the locker next to him. Kurt turned around. He could of asked Sebastian what he was doing in the Mckinley locker room after New Directions had just beaten the Warblers at Regionals. But he knew the reason. Sebastian was pissed. He could see it on his sneering face.

Kurt sighed and continued to put his shower bag back into his locker.

"What do you want Sebastian? New Directions won fair and square. The Warblers were good, it was a respectable effort. "

A hand pushed against him and now his flesh did hit metal. One of Sebastian's hands were on his wrist twisting it painfully and pinning it to the small of his back. The other was against his face squashing his cheek up against the cold metal of the locker.

"Fair." Sebastian's voice was a snarling whisper. "There's nothing fair about this Kurt."

Sebastian twisted his arm further and Kurt gave out a startled whine as he felt his arm may snap from the tension.

"Let go."

"There's nothing fair about this. Mckinley get's Blaine, New Directions get Blaine, you get Blaine, and then NYADA and then Regionals. There is nothing fair about that. The other Warbler's won;t talk to me because of your precious Blaine. He's not that special, just a piece of ass. One that needs screwing hard."

Kurt really didn't like the way Sebastian was talking. Something about it was scaring him.

"But when I'm finished with you he won't want you. And you won't want him anywhere near you either." 


	2. Chapter 2

Same Warnings Apply

Half Alive Chapter 2

Kurt blinked. The water fell from his eyelashes and down his cheeks like long tracks of tears. He had cried._ Ah poor little Kurt, crying, you're such a girl._ He looked down to where water pooled against his sodden jeans. The water was red. He felt cold but there was no pain anymore.

"Kurt." The laughing voice sounded far away. "Kurt, can I join you? You're Dad's downstairs but maybe he won;t notice."

Blaine. Oh his beautiful Blaine. The skin around his eyes crinkled when he laughed and his mouth spread wide. He always looked so alive, so teaming with energy and the joy of living that it was infectious. But it was not a diesies it was a cure. It had cured him before when Korsokvy had pushed him further than his ability to cope. Nothing would cure him now.

The door creaked as it opened.

"Kurt, i'm going to take the fact that the doors unlocked as... KURT!"

There was noise, Kurt could barely register it. But then there was pain again. Hands pressing tightly against the deep gashes in his wrists then leaving and sound again, ripping material.

"BURT! BURT!"

Everything went black. Kurt's final thought was 'at last'.


	3. Chapter 3

Same triggers and Disclaimers apply.

fightsilence asked : Sebastian attacks and rapes Kurt so that Blaine won't want Kurt and Kurt will be utterly broken. Then Kurt tries to kill himself. Is that correct? I'm assuming that there has been very little passage of time.

Yes that's correct and more of what happened will come out in later chapters. I wanted to keep the first chapter vague so that people could get the general idea and decide whether or not read before the nastier stuff came out.

Half Alive Chapter 3

Blaine looked down at his hands. Under the harsh lights of the hospital waiting room the traces of blood under his fingernails were still clearly visivble. His chest ached. He was in pain. Kurt had... what? Tired to kill himself. It seemed so unlikely yet he had found him, seen the gashes in his wrists, held him whilst he tied to stop the dark red blood that flowed through his fingers. But Blaine still didn't believe it. Maybe it was all a horrible dream. He had seen Kurt yesterday, they had performed together and laughed together and Kurt had grabbed him and kissed him firmly before he had headed of to his ca and Kurt had ran back into school for something.

"I don't understand."

Blaine looked up to where Finn was sat staring down at his own clasped hands. Carole was running her hands over his back and Burt stopped his pacing. Blaine looked between them all hoping that there would be some answer. Some reason that Kurt wanted to leave them all.

"None of us do Hun." Carol answered him at last.

Burt turned to look at Blaine, it was the first time in the hours that they had been there that any of Kurt's family had looked at him. They all seemed so distant from him and yet just a few weeks before Carol and Finn had visited him in the hospital after his eye operation and a week before that Burt had rang Blaine to give him the news that Kurt had got into NYADA. Blaine had laughed with him and then cried with him, after all their Kurt was going to leave and however happy they were for him they would both miss him.

"Has he said anything?" Burt said his voice cracking half way through the sentence.

Blaine shook is head.

"He was happy. He..he.. was happy. I don't.. I don't know why."

"He seemed distracted last night. But I just.. he said he was fine, just tired. I should have asked."

Carol stood up and went over to wrap her arms around her husband. Blaine looked away. He could not watch the man cry. He knew he would cry, later when the shock had worn off. When he was left alone in his room with nothing to do but think. Kurt loved him? Didn't he love him? Was there something he had missed? Was there some kind of sign? He knew when he had meet Kurt that he was having problems but he had always been so strong and Blaine had assumed those problems had stopped now. He had thought the bullying had stopped and that Kurt was becoming happier and more confident. What if everything he thought was wrong? Was he so dense and self absorbed that he hadn't seen the boy he loved was in pain?

"Mr. Hummel?"

Blaine was awoken from his thoughts by the sound of the doctor calling Burt's name. But looked up wiped his eyes and took a step away from his wife. He held his hand out to the doctor and shook it automatically.

"How is he?"

"He's lost a lot of blood but we have stopped the bleeding and we have him on a drip. It'll be a while before he's conscious and we can fully access the damage. " The doctor sighed and looked down at his notes. He wore horn rimmed glasses so that Blaine could not see his eyes when he looked down.

"Mr. Hummel, have you noticed any recent changes in behaviour in your son? Becoming unusually withdrawn or not wanting to be left alone, lack of sleep perhaps?"

"No. He's been his usual self. Rather excitable just lately because it's his senior year and he's getting ready to go to college."

"So he's been under unusual stress?"

"I guess, but he's been holding up well. Kurt's tough. Kurt's always been tough."

The doctor nodded not looking up. Blaine knew these words meant little to him, just the over emotional sentiment of a upset family.

"Mr. Hummel, we noticed some unusual bruising on your son. Given his age and current state we need your permission to do a full examination."

"Bruises?" Burt asked looking rather taken aback. He turned to look at Blaine and Finn.

"Is he being bullied again?"

"He's not mentioned anything.. and I've not seen anything." Finn said. Blaine just shook his head.

The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose pushing the glasses up over his curly black eyebrows. Blaine got the distinct impression that he was frustrated about something.

"Mr Hummel, perhaps we can talk in private, just you and your wife. Your son's will have to wait here."

Burt looked across at them.

"Blaine is Kurt's boyfriend not brother." Burt corrected.

The doctor tuned around then to look at Blaine for the first time. He seemed to scrutinize him for a moment as if he were trying to see something specific.

"You are Kurt's boyfriend?"

Blaine had to swallow several times before he could speak, he did not stand up because his lags felt so shaky he did not think they would hold him up.

"Yes sir. And I did not notice anything different about Kurt's behaviour either. He seemed happy."

"Are you sexually active?"

Blaine blinked and felt his cheeks growing hot.

"Yes." He said as clearly and unashamedly as possible. Hopefully Burt was already aware of this fact. Still it was awkward to actually hear it.

"Rough sex?"

Blaine was truly surprised he looked to Burt to see him frowning at the doctor.

"No.. I mean...I .. We, try to be as gentle with each other as possible."

"What's this about?" Burt asked as the doctor noted something down on his note board.

"I really think its best that you and Mrs Hummel come and talk to me alone."

Burt nodded.

He squeezed Blaine's knee as he walked pas and gave him a forced smile. Blaine knew it was meant as reassurance but he felt anything but reassured. His life was all turned upside down. Kurt was hurt, Kurt wanted to die. The doctor was asking strange questions. He was just so tied. He let his head drop into his hands again. He hoped that they would let him see Kurt soon and equally he hoped they did not. He did not wish to see him so cold and lifeless again. He was scared to know the answers to all his whys.

* * *

><p>Forgive me for the wait, my life is forever complexed. So, is it okay?<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Just a quick note, I realize things have been pretty tame up till now but there will be detailed rape scenes later in the story so please keep that in mind especially if you may be upset by it.

Half alive chapter 4

"I just don't understand. "Finn muttered once again.

Blaine wanted to shout at him. He wanted to scream 'what don't you understand? He tried to kill himself. He slit his wrists. He would have died if I had not found him. We almost lost him, we may still have lost him because we all missed something.' But Blaine did not shout or scream. He knew Finn was as confused as he was.

He did not know how much time had past before Burt was stood in front of him once more. He stopped right in front of Blaine so that his legs were almost brushing his knees. He stared at Blaine for a moment and Blaine could read so much in his face; sadness; confusion; worry; but there was a new element that had not been there before, anger. Blaine wanted to flee, to run away. He had never seen Burt angry, not like this. But when Burt moved to take the seat next to him his voice was soft.

"Blaine." He sighed running his hand up over his head knocking his cap loose. "Has Kurt.. what's happened over the last few days?"

Blaine blinked a couple of times, he wasn't sure what kind of answer Burt was looking for. What had happened over the last couple of days?

"Yesterday." Burt tired again. "What happened yesterday? Kurt was with us till he drove to the school to join you all on the bus to nationals. You all took different cars."

"Yes." Blaine confirmed, this was simpler question. "Finn was driving with Rachel and they were going to go to her house after the celebration dinner." Finn nodded. "And I had to go to my aunt's afterwards so I took my own car."  
>Burt nodded.<p>

"I saw you at regionals. But after the journey back, you went to a celebration dinner... at breadsticks? How long did that last?"

"Um.. " Blaine looked at Finn all he got back was a blank stare. "About seven I think."

Burt shared a worried look with his wife.

She gave a slow nod in return.

"He didn't come home till nine." Burt said quietly to himself.

"It could be." Carol whispered. She took a step towards Burt and rested her hand against his shoulders.

"We don't know yet. Wait to see what the doctors say."

Burt looked up at Blaine once more.

"Was he coming straight back?"

"No. He said he left something at school. "

Burt gave a slow nod. He seemed very tired and very old. Again, Burt had never seemed old before. He always had so much energy and fight in him."

"What's happening?" Finn asked.

Burt sighed . He looked at Carol and she seemed to understand his silent plea because she started to answer Finn's question.

"Kurt's still unconscious but they're doing an examination because he has several injuries that made them believe that he's been attacked."

Finn looked suddenly hopeful.

"So he didn't try to kill himself?"

"No dear. He still tried to kill himself. They just think he was attacked before that." Carol said, tears running down her cheeks.

The words filtered slowly into Blaine's mind, they seemed to make little sense to him yet filled him with emotions he was to exhausted to really sustain. Somebody had attacked Kurt, had hurt his beautiful boyfriend. His beautiful boyfriend who had always been so kind and had never held a grudge and always chosen to forgive, he would never hurt anybody. Why would somebody hurt him? Was it a homophobic attack? And how was... Kurt's current state linked. Kurt had put up with a lot of bullying, lived through a lot of bullying, had one attack really broken him. Blaine's brain screamed a word at him that he did not want to listen to.

There didn't seem to be anything left to say. They all sat in a row on the blue plastic chairs. There body's were inches apart never touching as they waited. Blaine felt like something was crawling under his skin. When he couldn't take it any longer he stood up and walked across the hallway to the small water machine. He filled a cup with water and drank it down in one gulp. When he finished the water he crushed the cup in his hand and threw it down into the waste bin. It made a satisfying thudding sound when it hit the bottom of the empty metal bin. Blaine stared down at it for a moment, crumpled up and alone in the bin. He reached for a second cup and dug his nails into the paper slowly until it gave way under the pressure and his bloody fingernails went through the paper to poke out on the other side. He turned and threw the cup across the room. He did not really know what he was doing but he was angry. So very angry all of a sudden. He let out a guttural scream not realizing it came from his throat until several seconds after it had reached his ears.

* * *

><p>Finn watched in stunned silence as the tiny and usually dapper boy in front of him flung himself against a wall. He had never seen anybody act this way before. Flinging his own body around as if it were a rag doll. He's face was twisted up like an animals and for a second Finn was almost scared of him. He threw his body against a wall and started beating his fists against it screaming as flecks of paint and plaster came off under his hands.<p>

Burt stood up and was dragging Blaine away within a minute of the first scream. He grabbed Blaine's wrists as the boys hands continued to hit out at whatever they could find. Blaine seemed to crumple to the floor and Burt knelt down next to him wrapping his arms around the small boy.

Finn did not know what to do as he watched his step father hold Blaine as he sobbed. He had not known what to do when he had heard Blaine start to scream either. When he had seen Burt and his mother run out of the Kitchen where they had been preparing dinner he had just stood their still for a few minutes listening to muted sobs filter down from upstairs. He had been too scared to move, even when his mother had shouted at him to call an ambulance he had been too scared to move. He was useless. Perhaps if he were not so useless a brother Kurt would not be in hospital right now. Perhaps if he had been able to protect him then they would all be sat in the living room right now watching America's got talent with Kurt laughing at all the singers who were obviously delusional about their singing abilities.

"If he wants to die then maybe he should die!" Finn heard Blaine sob from where his face was hidden in Burt's jacket.

Finn stood up before he was aware that he was going to. He felt his mother restraining hand on his arm and looked down at her.

"He doesn't mean it Finn, he's just upset and angry."

Finn looked at the sobbing boy. He seemed so young al of a sudden and so small. He wanted to hit him anyway, how dare he say something like that about Kurt? But Blaine's next words made all his anger disappear and left him with a sad emptiness.

"I love him, I love him, why would he do this? I love him."

"Mr. Hummel?"

They had all been to wrapped up in Blaine's outburst to notice that the doctor from before had walked into the little corridor/family waiting room. He looked down at Burt and Blaine then across at the slightly messed up wall. He's facial expression remained blank.

"Mr. Hummel, may I talk to you in private?"

"I'm dealing with something here." Burt said.

"Mr. Hummel, I must talk to you."

"Then talk." Burt snapped his hand wrapped in Blaine's curls as he held the sobbing boy.

"Somewhere private perhaps?"

"We're all his family. He needs us all to get through this. They might as well know."

"Mr. Hummel, our examination found a lot of bruising around your son's wrist and thighs, abrasions and bruising over most of his body and one cracked rib. There was tearing to the rim of the anus. Forced penetration is likely. I shall have a nurse come and give you details of the next steps that need to be taken if you wish there to be a criminal investigation."

"What?" Finn asked. He didn't know what the doctor had just said meant but he could tell by the ay that Burt's face suddenly stilled into a hard stern looking mask that it had not been good.

Blaine's sobbing had stopped. He looked up his eyes dark and his face pale. When he spoke his voice was dull and unemotional.

"He was raped."


	5. Chapter 5

Half alive chapter 5

"It's okay, He just looks like he's asleep." Burt said squeezing Blaine's shoulder. Blaine took a deep breath. He felt so afraid to see Kurt. That fact alone was enough to make him feel guilty. He loved Kurt, he loved him more than he had thought was possible. They had the type of relationship he had always secretly wished for. Perfect. He had seen Blaine, really seen him. It had taken a while but he had seen through the masks that Blaine wore and had accepted him as the dorky sometimes angry and imperfect person he was. He had held his hand at times when he had needed it. Talked to him or stayed silent when he needed it. They had their sweet moments when everything seem right and dazzling and unforgettable. And they had their not so sweet moments when they were annoyed at each other.

It was perfect, Kurt was perfect. But now there perfect little bubble had burst. He could not begin to process what had happened to Kurt. The pictures in his mind of Kurt lying floppy and bloody in his arms were enough. He would not be able to carry on if he allowed himself to think about what had led to that. He did not allow himself to picture some unknown other touching his boyfriend, hurting his boyfriend in such a way.

Blaine looked up at Burt, he had gone to long without answering and now Burt was bending down to try and see in his eyes.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything Blaine, he's still out cold."

"But at some point I will. "

Burt looked down at the floor and sighed.

"Blaine. One day at a time, okay? You've been through a lot. I could not blame you for leaving Blaine."

Blaine shook his head.

"No..no. . I won't leave him. Not till I know he's alright."

Burt nodded.

"Good boy." He said. "Do this together?"

"Yes." Blaine agreed.

They walked into Kurt's room together.

He looked like he always looks when sleeping. Blaine wanted to smooth his hair down and kiss him lightly to wake him up except he was surrounded by machines. Bleeping machines and tubes connected to bags that fed things under his skin and his arms were covered in think bandages from wrists to elbows. He didn't look peaceful, he looked fragile, his Kurt was never fragile. He was strong. He knew how to fight. Why wasn't he fighting, why had he just given in. Blaine took two trembling steps to wards the bed and then collapsed into the chair by the bed.

He stared at Kurt for a long moment not sure what to do. He looked down and reached to take his hand but it felt cold beneath his fingers and it didn't move to clasp his as Kurt would always do in his sleep. He reached towards his face instead and cupped his cheek running his thumb over the soft cheek. He felt the starts of little bristle prick his skin. Kurt had not shaved that morning.

He wanted him to just open his eyes. Just for a second. He just wanted to see that shining calm blue. He bent his head low to Kurt's ear.

"Just open your eyes Kurt. Just open them for a second. Tell me you're still here with me. That you're still going to fight with me. Please Kurt.. just open your eyes."

Kurt didn't stir. Blaine noticed a spot of wetness on Kurt's cheek. He reached down and touched it with his finger tips surprised at it being their and wondering how it got there. When another dripped down he realized that he was crying. He felt a hand on his shoulder again.

"You're okay. Come on. Carol will drive you home."

The drive back out toward Lima was quiet. Blaine closed his eyes. He did not allow himself to think he did not allow himself to feel, he just existed. After twenty minutes he opened his eyes and looked across at Carol. She was concentrating on the road. She did not notice him looking at her, noting how the redness around her eyes made them look greenish and that there were tiny broken capillaries snaking red lines across the thin skin under those eyes. I looked like she'd been crying without restraint but all through the day she had had silent inoffensive little tears sliding down her face.

"Can I stay at yours?" Blaine asked breaking the silence.

Carol glanced across at him quickly before reaching over and squeezing his knee. Why did people keep touching him? The Hudson Hummels had never been so tactile before... Before, Affectionate, lightly teasing, but not tactile.

"Oh Hunny, we will call you if anything changes."

"I know." Blaine said trying not to think of what the possible changes were. " Can I stay at yours?"

Carol nodded slowly.

"Call your parents."

Blaine agreed and closed his eyes again.

Carol unlocked the door silently. They both walked in side by side. They looked around at the hallway. There were still signs of their hasty departure, A bloody towel on the floor that was quickly snatched up by Carol, the bowl where they kept their car keys had been upturned. There were muddy foot prints on the floor and through the door Blaine spotted a draw that had been dragged open and searched for documents.

Carol ran through the kitchen and into the little utility room at the back where she flung the towel into the washing machine. Blaine followed her. He wondered why it mattered? He had seen the bloody towel before, he was the one who had grabbed it and tried to wipe the blood away from his hands. Maybe she thought it would remind him of the trauma of the day, but he didn't need any help remembering, he thought it would be with him forever.

"Do you want something to eat?" Carol asked.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, thank you Mrs. Hummel. You must want to get back to Burt."

The words came automatically, it was so easy to be polite and charming when everything was going wrong.

Carol nodded. She took a step towards him and ran her hand down his back. He did not feel anything at the gesture.

"I can stay here, with you, for a little while if you want?"

"No, I just.. I just feel tired."

"Go sleep then. I'll call you soon and we'll all be back here later."

She kissed his cheek and left him in the kitchen. She did not immediately leave, she put all the documents into the draw and righted the upturned bowl before she did. The actions made Blaine angry, he did not quite understand but it was as if it was unfair that the signs of what had happened could so easily be removed from the house when they could not be removed from his mind.

She turned to him a final time, both stood awkwardly in the front room not knowing how to act to one another.

"Thank you Blaine."

"What for?" Blaine asked generally confused.

"For finding him."

His throat tightened and he thought for a moment that his heart was going to stop but he managed a short nod.

He was relieved when the door shut behind Carol and he was on his own.

He walked up the stairs desperate for a little time alone away from the bright lights of the hospital and the shocked sadness of Kurt's family. He forced himself to ignore the drips of blood that ran up them and through the landing.

He knew when Carol had old him to go get some sleep she had meant in the guest room. It was the first door at the top of the stairs but Blaine walked right past it. Instead he walked to Kurt's room and paused at the open door.

There was bloody footprints on the pale carpet and pieces of torn cardigan fabric were dotted around. Blaine had knocked over Kurt's glamming tub and there were sequins and little jewel flowers spread over half the floor. Kurt would throw a fit if he saw the state of his room as it was right at that moment. It surprised Blaine when he smiled at this thought but when he realized he was smiling it felt very wrong.

Blaine knelt on the floor and collected all the spilt sequins and torn fabric. He ignored the open door that he could see in the corner of his eye and the strong smell of copper. It did not exist at that moment in time. Once he had put the room back into the state it would usually be in he felt more comfortable. He went to Kurt's shelf and ran his fingers over the spines of his catalogued vogue copies and the well worn little copy of Alice in Wonderland. These were Kurt's things and they allowed him to feel close to him.

He looked up to the next shelf and touched the cool glass over the picture of Kurt's mother. She smiled back at him with Kurt's wide smile. He turned away not able to look at it for any longer. She was a ghost, a woman who only existed in memories.

He turned and went over to Kurt's desk. A pot of his cream had been left out. Blaine undid the lid. He lifted in to his nose and breathed in the faint smell of lavender. It was the smell that always clung to Kurt's skin first thing in the morning; the smell that if he breathed in real hard he could smell when they sat together in the car on the way to school. He closed his eyes and imagined himself burying his neck into the soft skin of Kurt's neck and breathing in this scent.

Sighing he placed the pot back down and sat on Kurt's bed. He was so tired. He reached out and grabbed the pillow hugging it close to his body for a second. There was that smell, the smell of lavender and with it all the others. Kurt's shampoo, his body wash, his perfume. It was Kurt. But it wasn't. Because Kurt would wrap his arms around Blaine and tell him everything was alright. He threw the pillow down angrily and let himself fall back on the bed. He was met with his own face, eyes closed and laughing as Kurt whispered in his ear. It was Kurt's favourite photo of him, a real little moment capture in black and white. They had been so happy, so so happy. Blaine flung his arm out knocking it to the floor. He punched the pillow under him once before collapsing into loud uncontrollable sobs.

* * *

><p>"<em>You're so Beautiful Kurt, so, so Beautiful."<em>

_Blaine said stopping to look down at his boyfriend. He was transfixed by him. The way his fine hair was mussed up and his lips were plump and his eyes were close. His favourite part was the light pink blush that was spread across his cheeks. Kurt opened his eyes at is muttered words and blinked up at him with a contented smile. He wrapped his arms around his neck and raised his head just enough to place a soft kiss to Blaine's lips. _

_They did not need to say anything. _

_They moved together wrapped in the most intimate of ways, free to let each other hear their moans and see the pleasure pass across their faces. They were safe in the knowledge that there was no judgement here, just trust, acceptance and love._

* * *

><p><em>Thank you for your reviews. It is a scary topic to try to handle and I am glad I have managed to not upset anybody yet.<br>_


	6. Chapter 6

Warning: Contains rape scenes.

Half Alive Chapter 6.

Kurt woke up. He blinked his eyes, the light was so bright. Where was he? This was not his room. This place smelled like disinfectant. He blinked his eyes a couple more time trying to get through the pain in his head. He felt weird, kind of disconnected from his body but at the same time very aware of pain. He did not know where it was coming from but it was there.

He turned his head and saw metal and plastic tubing. Where was he? His heartbeat thudded in his ears. There was a beeping near him, it increased He looked to the other side of him and saw a screen with a little green pulsing line on it.

He knew what that machine was. A heartbeat monitor, his father had been hooked up to one after his heart attack. Was his father ill again. No, he knew he wasn't. He knew from the pain and the weird sensations that it was himself who was ill. He tried to stop the memories coming back but he couldn't.

_Kurt was afraid. There was something very wrong. He looked around. Sebastian was blocking his exit from the changing room. He was fast though, If he made it to the field door he could get away. _

_He ran, his feet thudding hard against the tiles. He reached the door and pushed his hands against the safety bar. It didn't budge. Kurt pushed harder willing it to open but he already knew it was locked. He felt hands grab his shoulder and he was thrown to the floor. His hands hit the ground hard and vibrated up to his elbows._

"_Ow.. Seb.. Sebastian, what..." He felt a sharp pain in his side as Sebastian kicked him. He took a deep gasping breath in pain. He rolled onto his side not able to hold himself up and longer. He looked up at Sebastian towering over him. Sebastian tilted his head to the side staring at him. Kurt thought he could see a glimpse of sympathy in his eyes for a second but then he gave that sarcastic little smile._

_Kurt tried to sit up only to have Sebastian's pointed black shoe push against his shoulder._

"_Oh don't get up." He said bending down to Kurt's level. "We are going to have some fun."_

"_Sebastian... what?"_

_Sebastian pressed his hands to Kurt's jaw holding him with bruising force._

"_I have to say I can kind of see why Blaine likes you, Just the right mix of feisty and Passiveness. You're too much like a girl though, I bet if he knew what it was like to be with a real man though he would immediately know what he was missing and ditch you. Tell me Kurt, have you ever topped? Cause I can see Blaine just needs to be fucked. All that aggression I hear about, the boxing and the fight club. I can tell you that a good hard fucking is all he needs, he's screaming out for it." _

_Sebastian was quiet for a moment. Kurt shook his head trying to get free. Sebastian just moved over him Kurt had to lie back down onto the floor to avoid his body coming in contact with Sebastian's. It just made Sebastian straddle him. Kurt felt a wave of panic as he felt his hardness against his stomach. Sebastian was getting off on this. He struggled to get back up, to get away from Sebastian. They struggled breathlessly for a moment but Sebastian managed to pin his hands._

_He smiled._

"_You won't hit me will you... so so sweet." Sebastian said leaning down and pressing a forceful kiss to Kurt's lips. He tasted foul, like maybe he had drunk some kind of alcohol._

"_You didn't answer me." Sebastian said. _

"_Get off me." Kurt said._

"_Such a high voice really. I wonder if you're a eunuch. Answer the question Kurt. Have. You. Ever. Topped?"  
><em>

"_Once." Kurt admitted._

"_So Blainers is not an ass virgin. Ill bare that in mind in the future."  
><em>

_Kurt didn't answer. He felt the grip loosen on his hands and he tried to move them but Sebastian's whole body pushed against him. Kurt felt he couldn't breath. Sebastian was heavy and he smelt of sweat and something bitter. That hard mass was digging into his pelvis now. He felt hands run down his stomach and fiddle with his belt. He bucked his hips away but Sebastian just gave a short moan._

"_Patience Kurt, we'll get to that."  
><em>

"_No." Kurt gasped, as he was distracted Sebastian managed to undo his belt and rip the front of his trousers open. _

_Kurt screwed his eyes together as he felt a cold hand grabbing at him. This is not happening; this is not happening he kept repeating to himself._

"_Not a eunuch."_

_Kurt gasped when he felt a fist drive into his stomach. He tried to turn away but couldn't because of the weight on top of him. He wanted to be sick. His stomach was crying out to him. Then there were hands on the side of his head and it was briefly lifted before it was slammed down against the hard tiles. White hot pain spread out across his head, he thought his skull must have split. It hurt so much, he definitely wanted to be sick, he wanted to pass out. He wanted the now strange flashing lights and blurred images in front of his eyes to go away. He closed them not being able to stand it anymore. He felt his body hefted up and fingers tight on his jaw forcing him to open his mouth. _

"_If you bite I'll slit your throat."  
><em>

_His mouth was then filled. Sebastian's dick was forced down his throat. Slamming repeated into the back of his throat. His nose was pressed up against musty smelling skin. Cool tears ran down his cheeks. He couldn't breath, he started to choke and found that Sebastian withdrew. He fell to the floor again opening his eyes as he retched again and again onto the floor spilling out lunch and bile._

"_Ughh, that's disgusting." _

_Sebastian tugged at his clothes ripping his shirt as he flung him backwards. He landed painfully on his hip and gasped in pain._

_"Ah poor little Kurt, crying, you're such a girl."_

_Kurt tried to get up, he knew that this was the last chance he had to get away but try as hard as he could his limbs had turned to jelly._

_Then it was too late. He was flipped onto his front so that his cheeks brushed the cold tile floor. His jeans were tugged down and he felt teeth bite down hard at the small of his back. He let out a started gasp of pain. Then there was unwanted pressure pushing and pushing at him till it finally broke him. He was being torn apart, the pain sharp and spreading up his back. He screamed, there seemed to be nothing in the world except that pain. His fingernails scratched along the floor. The white tiles in front of him were muddy. He could smell the vomit a little way from his face. He kept screaming because when he stopped to gasp for breath he could hear the thudding of flesh against flesh and the gasps of breaths and the moans. He heard the words Fantastic ass, and whore, like it rough, and worst of all, the name Blaine._

_He screamed a final time as hot liquid stung his insides. He lay still as Sebastian pulled out of him. He didn't think he could move if he tried. His whole body hurt, his throat burned his head throbbed and then there was the indescribable feeling inside him._

"_You're tight. Maybe Blaine thinks he knows what his doing after all. Give him my love. If he ever wants to see you again, which he won't by the way. You're just damaged goods Kurt."_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Wrote this one in a rush so I didn't have time to back out. Is it alright?<em>**


	7. Chapter 7

Two updates in one day. I spoil you. Anyhow this chapter is a bit different, probably not what you were expecting.

Contains mentions of and glorifying of rape and teenage sexuality.

Half ALive chapter 7

Sebastian had been twelve when he had first realized he like boys. I mean, how could he not. Perfectly sculptured hard bodies, muscles moving under skin deep resonant voices. How could girls ever compare?

He had been thirteen when he came out of the closet and his parents sent him to study in Paris. Maybe it had been meant as a punishment, maybe he was supposed to reconsider his sexuality but Paris had been amazing. Nobody cared he was gay in Paris, love is love and sex is sex. There was always another young boy willing to experiment and rub up against him and always an older guy to whisper in his ear the secret knowledge their years had gained them.

He was fifteen when he received his first blowjob. He had lost his virginity later that year. He had not like it, it was not what he had wanted. He did not like the boy moving in and out of him trying to stroke his dick into responding. No, that was not what he had wanted at all. He loved the thought of those strong men underneath him. He waned to feel their strength. Wanted to overcome their strength and rule them. He wanted to make them scream as he fucked them.

It was close to his sixteenth birthday when he had discovered something that made his blood boil. That made his orgasms intense. That left a feeling of power in him that was addictive. It had been a dodgy Swedish movie, late at night. He had stared transfixed as the men fought, one struggling under the other, then he had finally screamed. It had been to dark to see what was going on but Sebastian knew... he knew the man had been forced. T felt weird as he stroked his dick remembering the brief images, imagining what that would feel like to be that man on top. But despite the weirdness the orgasm had shook him to his very core. He had almost past out. From that moment on that was it for him. He quickly found that their were other things on the internet. Sites with faked rapes, fiction, websites with other people who felt the same way.

Six months later and he found somebody who wanted him. Jac flirted mercilessly with him. So one day in the library he bent over and whisper in his ear what he would like to do with him. How he would like to throw him onto the bed and tie him up and pound him, without preparation, without lube, without ceremony. Jac had looked at him with wide eyes then given a shaky nod. Perhaps he had not realized how serious Sebastian was, perhaps he had that infinite sexual openness and willingness to experiment that all Europeans seemed to have. The sex had not been exactly what Sebastian had wanted, Jac was too willing, he pretended to struggle when Sebastian demanded it but not hard enough, he was not fighting him. The push and the drag and the tightness of his hole though was delightful, and he did scream, and he did cry afterwards. Sebastian had placed a small kiss onto his shoulder.

"You can't complain. You let me do this. You wanted this. And if you tell anybody then they'll know you're just as fucked up as I am."

There had been nothing like it afterwards. A few more blowjobs which Sebastian kind of liked, but nothing that really took the edge of his strange hunger.

Then he was home, in America, and wasn't that boring. The little town which hated gays and only had one sad little gay bar. Even at Dalton the boys were nothing like the ones in Paris. They were gay or straight, they did not want to experiment. They wanted relationships and not sex. Boring, boring, boring. But then he had heard about the fight club. Oh he could never let himself join in, much to dangerous. He may give in to temptation. He could just imagine the looks of these stuck up haughty prigs if they watched him pin down and fuck a tight ass in front of them. Instead he watched and wanked afterwards. He also heard awed whispers of another ex fight club member. A strong and feisty Blaine who had so much anger and frustration in him. Sebastian love hearing stories of this boy. He would fight him, he would give him what he needed. He joined the Warblers to hear more stories and then... one day he got to meet him. E was beautiful. Prim and proper and charming but with perfectly outlined muscles under his jumper, perfect round ass covered by his slacks. This was the boy Sebastian wanted.

Except he had a boyfriend. Sebastian tried to flirt with him, tried to entice him, promised him that he could give him things he bet his boyfriend could not but Blaine was in love and that sucked. Then, worse, Sebastian got to meet him, the boyfriend Kurt. He was not beautiful, his muscles were wiry, he was slim and feminine, his voice was high, his cheek flushed. He was the opposite of the dark brooding type Sebastian loved. He was wrong, very wrong. He had to get him away from Blaine.

He waited for months. It hurt to wait for months. Sebastian wanted Blaine so much. He wanted that body fighting against him, he wanted to hear that fine voice break. He had tried to injure Kurt, he had wanted to hurt him but it had backfired the slushie had hit Blaine. Blaine had screamed and it had been so so good he had come dozens of times imaging that scream. But now Blaine would not talk to him. He was angry, he was frustrated, and reginals were the last straw.

Kurt had been his first. He was not as Blaine would be. He fought but he did not throw everything into the fighting. He did not even hit him. Kurt was lacking in something, some sort of violent instinct. His voice when he screamed had been gruffer than he had expected though. And he had screamed a lot. There was only one thing that bothered Sebastian, he had not looked in his eyes. He could not see the fear in those eyes or the hurt. Kurt did have those innocent bright blue eyes that Sebastian had just wanted to break the first time he had seen it but he couldn't. He knew from the websites that most people who were like him loved to see the pain and panic in other peoples eyes. For Sebastian it felt wrong. For the first time in years he felt as if there was something wrong with him. He hated it. He hated Kurt for making him feel this way. He got up from his bed and grabbed his phone.

**I love how you scream. **

**I can't wait to see you again.**

**How's Blaine? Have you told him he's not the only one whose got to fuck your ass.**

**Admit it, you can't stop thinking about me.**

**Is my cum still dripping out your ass?**

**You'll never be able to forget.**

**Do your parents know what a little whore you are?**

**You know what I'm going to do next time? Next time I'll make you cum. I'll make you hate yourself for feeling pleasure with the pain. I'll make you like it. I'll make you break. I don't care how long it takes. And then I'm going after Blaine.**

Sebastian just kept texting, every half hour for the rest of the night. He smiled every time he hit the send button.

* * *

><p>Didn't know I had it in me, oh well everything I write is to train me to be a better writer, got to do things a bit differently every now and then.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Half Alive chapter eight

Burt was having an argument with the coffee machine. For some reason it did not want to take his dollar. He was just starting to consider looking to see if anybody could change it for him when he started to hear screaming. The sound shocked him, he reminded himself that he was in a hospital and sometimes children scream. But there was something almost terrifying about the scratching. Suddenly he realized he knew that voice that high pitched scream. He ran down the hallway and into Kurt's room to see him conscious and twisting out of the nurse's grip. She turned to a male nurse who had just walked into the room and shouted at him to fetch restraints.

He rushed past the nurse and put his hand on Kurt's cheek.

"Kurt. Kurt, It's Dad, I'm here baby."

Kurt reached up and started to scratch at his hand as if trying to get it away. Burt dropped his hand and pushed sharply down on Kurt's shoulders.

"Kurt! I need you to stay still. They're going to put you in restraints and I know you do not want that. Kurt, look at me."

Burt talked to him in the straight forwards way he used to when he was a child and he needed him to do something like look before crossing the road. Something about that tone seemed to get through to Kurt because his body stilled, though all the muscles remained tensed. Kurt looked up at him with wide and frightened eyes. Burt let go of his shoulders and reached up to sooth the hair back away from his face. He noticed that there was blood seeping out from the bandage on his left wrist.

"I think his pulled the stitches out." He said turning to the nurse quickly not wanting to spend a moment away form his son. She nodded.

"I'll get the doctor to come look at them, I also think he's going to need a something to calm him down. His heartbeat is way to fast. We don't want to put any stress on him."

"Okay." Burt said turning back to his son. The nurse left and they were alone.

"Hey Kiddo."

Kurt looked up at him for a long moment before he turned his head away.

Burt sighed. He didn't know what to say. His son, who he had always admired for his strength and the way that he was so sure of who he was had been hurt to the point where he wanted to die. He was so angry, he was angry at whoever had hurt Kurt and he was angry at Kurt for not asking him for help and for not holding on a little longer and he was angry at himself for not noticing that something was wrong with him.

He tried to figure out what Kurt may be feeling. It was difficult, he knew his son well, he considered them to be close but to put himself in his shoes was something else. He may feel angry, ashamed, he guessed, maybe he was scared about the question's Burt would ask him or how to explain what had been going through his mind when he...

"Kurt, the doctors told me what happened Kurt."

There was no response except the quickened bleeping of the heart monitor.

The doctor came in then. It was not the doctor who had come to talk to them but rather a small plump Indian woman.

"Hello Mr. Hummel, Kurt. Good to see you're awake. You gave us all a bit of a scare there." She picked up his chart and quickly checked it before she knelt down next to him. "I see you've pulled out some of your stitches. Can I have a closer look?"

When Kurt didn't answer she looked up at Burt.

"Go ahead but I think he's a little jumpy."

She nodded and pried Kurt's arms away from his body. She removed the bandages and Burt averted his eyes. He couldn't see that deep bloody gash with the puckered skin and the black lines holding it together.

"Right, it needs a few more stitches. I'll be back in a minute okay." She left again to fetch her equipment.

"I love you Kurt. So do Carol and Finn and Blaine. They've all been in here sitting with you."

Kurt curled up in a tight ball at Blaine's name. Burt watched him carefully, after a few minutes he was shaking as he gasped for breath. Burt put his hand on Kurt's shoulder panicking when he saw his lips becoming blue.

"NURSE! NURSE! HE CAN;T BREATHE."

A nurse was there within seconds grabbing at his shoulders and laying him down straight taking his pulse. The doctor appeared seconds later.

"Kurt, Kurt, you're having a panic attack you're going to have to calm down sweetie. Take a deep breath for me."

Seeing that it wasn't likely to happen she pulled a syringe out and pushed the clear liquid through his I'V drip. Kurt continued to hyperventilate for about sixty seconds before he passed out.

"It's a sedative. He's breathing will return to normal now it was just a panic attack."

Burt nodded.

"How long will he be out?"

"A few hours, but he's still going to be passing in and out of consciousness from the blood loss."  
>Burt nodded.<p>

"Will he be alright if I leave him for a few moments so I can talk to my wife and his brother?"

"Yes, he really has no idea what's going on right now. Don't worry it's a good thing, it means he won't feel the stitches going in."

"Yeah that's great." Burt said. He walked out to the family room where he saw his wife and Fin who had fallen asleep with his head in Carol's lap. He looked like a little child; he forgot how young they were, Still between children and adults really.

Carol looked up at him with a weak smile when he walked in. He crossed over to her and bent to kiss her lightly on the cheek.

"Couldn't find a coffee machine?"

"Kurt woke up."

Carol's eyes widened.

"How is he?"

Burt shook his head and ran his hands up over his head.

"He's.. he.. he freaked out."

Carol nodded.

"Is he still awake?"

"No, I was telling him that we all love him ad he started hyperventilating. The doctor had to give him a sedative. He won't wake up for another few hours."

"Did he say anything?"

"Nothing."

Finn stirred and opened his eyes.

"Has something happened with Kurt?"

"He woke up for a little while hunny but he's gone back to sleep." Carol explained.

"Which is where you should be. Come on, I'll drive you home." Burt said. He didn't want to leave Kurt but there was nothing he could do for him whilst he was unconscious.

Carol looked up at him.

"Is that alright? I'll be back before he wakes."

"Yes hun. I'm just going to take a lie down myself." Burt nodded.

* * *

><p>Burt unlocked the door to his house. It seemed strange to be back, this place was usually full of laughter and activity. He had the feeling it would be a while before they were all able to laugh in a care free manner again. The next few months would be rough on all of them. But they all had to hold it together because no matter how rough it was on them it was going to be even harder for Kurt.<p>

"Go to bed, I'll make you a sandwich." Burt said to Finn. Fin nodded and walked upstairs, he boy always took direction well.

Burt was on autopilot as he opened the fridge and pulled out some ingredients. He made three lots of sandwiches, crisps and orange juice remembering that Blaine was asleep upstairs. He walked up and opened Finn's door. He was already snoring. He smiled fondly and a little sadly at his step son and put the tray of food on his side table so he could eat when he woke up.

He ate in the kitchen quietly and quickly leaving Blaine's food on the table with a little note to him telling him to make himself at home. He made a quick lunchbox for Carol. He didn't know what he would do without her silent strength and he thanked God and Kurt for bringing her into his life. Thinking of her made him realize there was one more job he had to do before heading back to the hospital. He didn't want her to come back home when they knew it was safe to leave Kurt and feel she had to deal with the mess in his bathroom. He filled his mop bucket with bleach and headed up to Kurt's room.

He did not know what to expect when he opened the door. The whole affair was a emotional mess in his mind but he was always good at putting things to the back of his mind until he was ready to deal with them. For now he had to look after his family. What Burt didn't expect to see was Blaine curled up asleep on the bed. He sighed looking at the young boy hugging a pillow tight to his body. He wanted to cry at both the boy's loyalty to his son and how much in pain they all were in at the moment.

He turned to leave, the boy had only got a few hours sleep and that was if he'd gone to bed the minute Carol had dropped him off. But as he turned he heard the bed creak.

"Kurt?"

Burt knew by the tone of the voice he was not looking for Kurt but had awoken and was asking how he was. Burt took a deep breath and turned around. Blaine's eyes were bloodshot and wide, the product in his hair and made it all push up to one side. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. Blaine was staring wide eyed at him. It worried him that he had the same scared expression that Kurt had when he woke up.

"He's... the doctor thinks he'll wake up in a few hours." Burt smiled. He couldn't tell Blaine about what had happened. The boy didn't need to know.


	9. Chapter 9

Half Alive

Burt sighed. He was alone with his once again conscious son once again. Kurt had not looked at him the entire time he had been sat there by his bed. He had thought that maybe silence would be best. That maybe Kurt would open up if he was just given time and space. But after an hour of silence Burt felt he could no longer hold back the tears, he had to speak. He had to speak because he had to stay strong for Kurt and this silence was wearing him down.

"I.. I wanted to be the type of father you could come to with anything. I never really gave you enough attention when you were younger. I never let you know that I loved you just as you are. But these last few years, I thought we'd got to know each other a bit better. I thought that it was going to be you and me against the world Kurt. I guess this was just too much for you. We all have a breaking point Kurt; it's nothing to be ashamed of. I think.. all that bullying you went through. That would have broken me. You're a much stronger man than I am Kurt. Which is how I know you'll survive.. This."

Burt sighed and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. He couldn't talk about the attack. He could not deal with thinking that somebody would hurt his little boy like that. He knew that at some point in the last few days Kurt had been hurt and alone and frightened and he hadn't been there. He hadn't even noticed.

"I'll be here for you Kurt." He said tears starting down his face. "I love you Kurt, you know I always will and I am going to be with you through every step of this. You're going to stay here till you well and then we're going to get you counseling and we're going to talk to the police and whoever did this to you is going to be locked away and then we're going to get on with our lives. You're going to go to NYADA and you're going to get the life you deserve. Don't think this bastard has taken anything away from you Kurt because he hasn't."

* * *

><p>Blaine felt numb. It was as if he had felt so much over the last twenty-four hours that he just could not feel anymore. He sat outside Kurt's room as Burt came out. Then Carol came went in holding Finn's shoulder as the tall boy looked about to throw up. When she came back out she shook her head to Burt. Blaine knew what she meant. Kurt was awake. But Kurt was not talking, not a word, to anybody.<p>

Blaine knew what came next. Burt nodded at him telling him he could go in.

"You going to be okay Kid?"

"Yeah." Blaine managed to croak out.

Kurt's back was turned from him. He was curled up in on himself and did not move as Blaine entered the room. There were less machines beeping around him but it still seemed very scary to see Kurt here in a hospital room in the green gown he would usually be arguing about wearing because it was shapeless.

Blaine sat down on the plastic chair by the bed. He tried looking at Kurt but the way he wasn't moving, wasn't talking to him and wasn't even in a peaceful sleep was creepy. Blaine kept his distance; he did not want to touch the bed. Did not want to lay his hands on Kurt and make him freak out. Part of him simply didn't believe this was his boyfriend. The boy he loved would be smiling at him and flirting with him if they had been left in a room together this long.

He just did not know what to say and that made him feel inadequate. He was a bad boyfriend. Kurt deserved somebody who would know what to say. Who would know how to make things better or who wouldn't have allowed this to happen in the first place. Why had he not been able to protect the boy he loved?

"Kurt." He tried wondering if Kurt would just turn around and talk to him so he wouldn't have to think of what to say.

He didn't.

"You know I..."

He what? He was angry, so angry. But he could not tell Kurt that. No, Kurt had worse things on his mind to deal with than Blaine's emotions. It would be selfish to mention what he was feeling. He needed reassurance Burt had told him in the car on the way back to the hospital. Reassurance that they were all going to look after him and that they weren't angry at him and that everything would turn out alright. But Blaine didn't know if he could look after him, he didn't know what he was doing. And he was angry at Kurt, he loved him, he had thought that was enough in life for so long. Now Kurt had shown him it wasn't. And truthfully, Blaine felt as if nothing would ever be alright again.

"You know how Mr. Shue tried to get us to sin about our feelings. Well, we're not kids anymore. I think we both know that a song is not going to make everything alright again. But.. But i don't know what to say to you Kurt. I love you so much, I never want to lose you but I..." Blaine couldn't continue because the tears running down his face were practically blinding him. He started to singing in a shaky and halting voice.

"You're not alone  
>Together we stand<br>I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
>When it gets cold<br>And it feels like the end  
>There's no place to go<br>You know I won't give in  
>No I won't give in<p>

Keep holding on  
>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<br>Just stay strong  
>'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you<br>There's nothing you could say  
>Nothing you could do<br>There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
>So keep holding on<br>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through"

Blaine sniffed and wiped at his nose with the back of his sleeve. He stood up and turned to leave.

"I'll come see you tomorrow Kurt."

He didn't notice the silent tears making there way down Kurt's face.

* * *

><p>So, still going to be angsty for a while longer.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry about the wait. I had a little laptop trouble.

Oh this chapter actually kind of predates the last two. It fits in early morning the day after Kurt's suicide attempt, I just needed to have another perspective.

Chapter 9

The shrill ringing of the telephone woke Will up. It took a moment for his head to clear enough for him to realize what it was and grab the phone.

"William." A familiar voice said.

Will rubbed his eyes and turned to look at the green glowing letters of his clock.

"Principle Figgins?"

"Yes William."

"Why are you calling me at nine twenty on a Sunday morning?"

"I need you to meet me at the school."

"Why?"

Will sat up feeling the sleepy haze drop. He had never had a call at the weekend from Figgins. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach that something was wrong, maybe a fire or flood or something along those lines. He heard a sigh on the other end and a little hesitation.

"I have had a call from the police. They believe that there has been a personal assault on school grounds."

Will shook his head. He couldn't quiet take in what was being said.

"An assault?

"Yes William. I need you to come here."

Will was already climbing out of bed and pulling on yesterday's jeans.

"Okay. Give me half an hour."

The police cars were in the car park as Will drove up. He parked and rushed towards the main entrance of the school. Figgins and three police officers were stood waiting.

"Ah, William. William Shuester this is Sergeant Rennels and two officers from the forensic unit."

Will nodded to them. He had only just managed to bolt down half a cup of coffee and everything still seemed slightly confusing. He turned to the officers and held his hand out for Sergeant Rennels to shake.

"How can I help?"

"We already have evidence from the boy but it's good in cases like these to have as much to back it up as possible."

Will wanted to ask more about who was attacked and how they were attacked but he did not now how much information he was allowed on the situation.

"So you know the attack happened at the school? " Will asked instead.

"No. The boy is non communicative. His parents and boyfriend mapped out everywhere they think he's been during the last two days and there was a period where he was alone for a couple of hours where they believe he came back to the school."

Will mouth dropped open. He shook his head, it didn't make sense. The only boy at the school with a boyfriend was Kurt. But he had seen Kurt yesterday.

"Wait. You're talking about Kurt Hummel."

"Yes. I am sure the family would appreciate it if you kept this information to yourself though."

"Uh.. yes.. yes of course. Burt Hummel is a good friend of mine. Kurt is.. I saw him Friday night."

"Yes." The man flipped his notepad open. "At a singing competition, with Blaine Anderson, Finn Hudson and others."

"Yeah. I.."

", the chances of us actually finding any evidence in a school this size before the samples becomes corrupted is low. That is if the attack did take place here. We thought as you know the boy you might know where he would go here. I mean it's the weekend and apparently he came to pick up something he had forgotten."

"Right." Will ran his hands through his hair. "Is uh.. is Kurt alright?"

"We can't discuss that. "

"Will, you can ring Burt Hummel later. For now perhaps you should concentrate on helping these fine officers of the law."

Will shook his head. He had known Kurt had been bullied badly last year but he had thought all that was over now. For them to attack him on the weekend somebody would have had to have followed him here. Whatever had happened it had to be bad for the police to be looking for evidence other than whatever marks Kurt had on him. That thought made him sick.

"Well, he's in the choir room a lot, and the auditorium was left open because Rachel Berry likes to practise there. I guess he could have also gone to his locker or perhaps even the locker room I know that Blaine and Finn his brother keep lockers there."

Will had felt exhausted as he had walked around the school showing the police the rooms and areas he thought Kurt might visit. He watched anxiously as they turned off each light and scanned the area with a blue lamp. Will was scared for his student. He was closer to Kurt than his others, through Glee and through the extra support he had need when Burt had had his heart attack and the hours Will had spent at their house helping with Burt's campaign. Will had come to admire Kurt. He had faced a lot in his young life but he always took it and never retaliated with violence or meanness. He was a moral young man and knowing that he had been hurt once again and obviously in a bad way made Will's eyes tear up.

When Will first unlocked the door to the locker room he didn't see anything. It wasn't until he turned the corner to find the locker number that belonged to Finn. The door to the locker was bent in as if somebody had hit it. Then it was as if the whole picture cleared in his head. A black jacket that could only belong to Kurt (it had his patented alterations, little chains hanging from the pockets and a handmade broach) was under one of the benches. Will almost reached for it before he remembered that he was not meant to touch it. When he saw the smudge of dark blood on the floor his chest became tight and a tear fell from his eye.

"This is it. Thank you Mr. Shuester. It would be better if you leave now."

"Yeah." Will said absently. He really just wanted to get out of there.

"Oh, Mr. Shuester!" One officer called him just as he was about to leave.

He closed his eyes thinking how much he just wanted them to let him go so that he could forget what he had seen.

"Can you open this locker?"

Will turned and took the master key Figgins had given him out of the pocket and eyes kept firmly on the wall across from him. He unlocked the locker and looked in he noticed the footsteps close behind him.

"This is his step brothers locker?"

"Yes." Will answered.

"Is there anything in it that might belong to Kurt?"

Will looked over the mess of football equipment and wet towels. He was about to say no when something on the top shelf caught his eye.

"Yeah, that might be." He said pointing to the little black ring box.

The police officer stepped in front of him and took out the little black box. Will watched him pen it to reveal two plain silver rings. He turned it back and froth in his hand.

"Say's Always yours Kurt."

Will nodded.

"It's a promise ring." He said slowly. "For his boyfriend Blaine. He's going to college in September."

As Will said the words he couldn't help but think that there was a chance that Kurt might not be going to college come September. He was really going to have to find out what was going on.

"Can I leave now?"

"Yes. Thank you for your help."

Will headed for Figgin's office handing the keys back to him silently and was outside where he finally felt he could breathe. He leant his head against the rough cool stone of the building for a long moment. His hands were shaking. He wanted to just throw up.

He slowly managed to steady himself and reached for his phone finding the familiar number and ringing it.

"Burt."

"Hey Will." Burt sounded tired.

"I.. How's Kurt?"

"What?"

"I've been with the police at the school."

"Oh, right. Did..." Burt's voice broke slightly. "Did you find anything?"

Will sighed.

"Yeah, the police are.. I don't know collecting evidence."

"Was.. was it bad?"

Will didn't know what to say but his silence seemed to answer Burt. The next voice he heard was Carole.

"Hi Will."

"Hi Carole. How are you?"

"I'm holding up thank you Will."

"How is Kurt?"

There was a sigh on the other end.

"I don't think he'll be returning to school for a while."

"But he'll recover? I mean, what exactly were his injuries?"

There was a long moment of silence on the other end.

"I'm not sure what's happening at the moment Will. He's not ready to talk to anybody."

Will nodded though he knew she could not see him.

"What do you want me to tell the kids, they're going to want to send him some cards or something, visit when he gets better."

"No. Will, can you keep this from them. Kurt really needs to be left alone."

"They're going to ask."

"Well tell them it's none of their business!"

There was a long moment of silence.

"Sorry Will. It's just."

"Don't apologize. I'll just say that he's ill."

"Thank you. Could you.. could you try to keep them from questioning Finn and Blaine. This is hard for them too."

Will was surprised by the request. The glee club told each other everything, after all they had been together through a lot of problems over the last two years. The request brought home to him the fact that something was very very wrong. It confirmed his feeling that this was far more than childish bullying. This was serious. He needed to know.

"Carole.. what?"

"I can't Will... I just can't."

"Okay. If you need anything, Emma and I are here for you."

"Thank you Will."


	11. Chapter 11

Seventy Two hours. It had been seventy two hours since Kurt had arrived at hospital. Burt had forced Blaine and everybody else to go home to rest but after four hours he had come back to the hospital to sit by Kurt's bed watching him sleep. Seventy two hours had passed slowly and they were all tired. Now there was a chance that Kurt could go home. Burt wanted to take him home. He didn't think could get better here. Not surrounded by doctors and with police officers checking in everyday and asking if they could ask questions. The answer was always the same.

"No, we'll come to you when Kurt's ready."

The thing was Kurt didn't talk. He had not said a word since waking up. When awake he lied on his side unmoving just letting the nurse who came to change his bandages move his limp limbs. On the second day they had made him get out of bed, they had too there was no medical reason for a catheter. Kurt followed the nurse to the bathroom not causing a fuss when she would not leave him there alone. He walked like an unseeing zombie. It had been painful to watch and even more painful when Kurt had got straight back into the bad and turned his back on him.

He had been sleeping fitfully but only because the nurse kept bringing him sleeping tablets. Burt would watch the movements he made during his sleep. He screwed his face up and twitched and sometimes cried. Burt didn't think about what Kurt was seeing in his sleep. At least those sleeping hours gave him the comfort o being able to touch his child. To run his hand soothingly over his hair and hold his hand and whisper to him just how sorry he was, sorry that he couldn't protect him and sorry that he had had to grow up and not been allowed to remain the happy child he had been years before.

Now after three nights Kurt was well enough to go home. He was no longer as pale and steadily beeping machines had been unhooked just leaving him with the drip that feed him glucose and plasma and occasionally pain killers. There was only one problem; the psychologist did not want him to go home she wanted to move him to the psych ward because he was in a dissociative state. The doctor said that they could let him go if he ate something and said that he would not try to take his life again. Of course, Kurt wasn't responding to anybody in anyway.

They all gathered around Kurt not speaking again, just letting him know that all his family loved him. Though all of them were secretly hoping to see some kind of improvement in Kurt, to hear his voice and get to take him home.

When the nurse came in with a tray of food and placed it on the swing table of Kurt.

"Eat Kurt." Burt said.

A couple of minutes went by without Kurt moving. Carole stepped away from But and he watched as she sat down by Kurt's bed and swung the little table away from him. She pushed against his shoulder lightly getting him to turn. He resisted slightly at first but then let himself be moved as if he didn't really care what happened to him. Carole slid her arms behind his back and lifted him till he was sat up and resting against the pillows. Then she reached for the tray and picked up the yogurt. She peeled back the lid and dipped the sppon in.

"Open up." She said sternly to Kurt. It surprised Burt to see the he did. He allowed Carole to feed him like a child. He wanted to sigh in relief but he saw the look in Blaine's eyes and knew how difficult it was for him to see his boyfriend like this. It might be easier for him at this time to remember the child that Kurt once was but all Blaine saw was that the boy he loved was loosing his independence.

* * *

><p>"Kurt." Blaine said reaching out to hold his hand. He felt warmer now and Blaine was used to the bandages. "Kurt I need you to talk."<p>

Kurt did not move. His eyes continued to stare out straight past Blaine as if he was not there.

"Dude, your hair looks awful."Finn said. Blaine turned around to stare at him.

"What? He hates it when he's hairs messed up."

Blaine looked past Finn to where Burt and Carole stood holding each other and looking on nervously. Blaine took a deep breath.

"Baby, you want to go home don't you? You have to talk for them to let you go home. You just have to say to the doctors that you won't hurt yourself again." Blaine dropped his head to the hard mattress. He so wanted to scream right now. Three days and Kurt was not getting better. Every night when he tried to sleep all he saw was some nameless shapeless figure hurting Kurt. He knew something awful had happened but he still couldn't quite understand this... he couldn't understand how Kurt could have given up. He wiped the tears from his eyes and started muttering into the pillow words to comfort himself more than Kurt.

"When you get home we'll just chill out on your bed. We can eat Carole's home made soup and watch musicals. We can plan that weekend away you wanted. Just you and me, we can find a meadow in the middle of the forest and just look up the clouds forever. We.. we can still be together Kurt.. we can still be happy."

Blaine looked up, looked straight into the dull grey looking eyes of his boyfriend.

"Please Kurt. It's just a few words; will you please do it for me?"

* * *

><p>They stood separate from each other in the hallway. Each waiting nervously as the doctor saw Kurt. Each knowing what was going to be said. Blaine took a deep breath and sealed himself. He felt so much older than his years and yet so much a lost child all at once.<p>

"You could sign him out against medical orders." He said as clearly and directly as possible.

Burt looked up at him for a long minute as if he was unsure as to what he heard.

"He won't.. he won't try again. He was just in a bad place, this is Kurt were talking about here. He's tough."

Blaine looked over at Finn, shocked that the older boy had spoken. He had been practically silent whenever they had been in the hospital.

Burt sighed.

"Finn, I can't.. I don't know what's going on in his head at the moment. I can't risk it. He'd need to be watched twenty four seven at least till he starts speaking and we know what's going on."

"We know what's going on." Blaine felt the familiar feelings of anger rise up in his chest again. "He was raped. He needs us, he needs to be home. We can watch him twenty four seven."

Carole walked over to him and placed her hand on his arm almost as if reminding him to stay calm. Kurt was only a few meters away and despite the closed doors he would hear Blaine if he started shouting. He needed to argue this calmly, they might listen to him if he argued it calmly. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes to try again.

"We could work it out, couldn't we? The four of us."

"Blaine, this is too much for you you're too young. I appreciate your dedication to my son.."

"Love. I love your son."

"I agree." Finn said. "He hates hospitals, they make him think of his mom and when you had that heart attack."

Burt sighed he looked across at Carole with an almost pleading look.

"We could try." She said. "I could take time off work and look after him. One of us was going to have to at some point whatever happened."

"Carole.."

"When I get back from school I'll sit with him. And I can put my old camp bed in his room and sleep there to." Finn said stepping forwards now and becoming more of the confident football captain than he had been in days.

"We can take alternate nights so that we both get plenty of sleep." Blaine said with a small smile to thank him for the support.

Burt sighed, his whole body heaving. He reached his hand out for Carole and she took it smoothing her thumb gently over the skin of his knuckles. Blaine's own parents never seemed to touch each other like that, never seemed to share small gestures of support. It always struck him that this patchwork family that had only known each other for three years was much closer than his own natural nuclear one.

"Yeah alright." Burt said gruffly. "I can check in on him at lunch times so Carole can have a break and take some nights too. I'll go sign the papers."

* * *

><p>Kurt looked frail and weak as he walked down the garden path, the blanket Carole had given him wrapped around his shoulders. Finn was walking by his side as if ready to catch him if he stumbled. Blaine waited by the door nervously, he didn't know why but he was suddenly worried that bring Kurt back here where he had tried to take his own life might not have been the best idea.<p>

Already they had decided that Kurt would stay in the guest room. Burt and Blaine had driven back ahead of Carole Kurt and Finn to get it ready. Not just laying out a camp ed but also making sure to move Kurt's favorate things in there. As Burt had made the bed with an old quilt Kurt's grandmother had made and made sure the T.V. and D.V.D. set up were working Blaine collected up Kurt's skin creams and night clothes and photos and moved them into the other room. The second trip had brought D.V.D's, issues of Vogue and a wicked poster. As he went to fetch Kurt's Ipod from the bedside table he clumsily knocked over the lamp and sent things splaying over the floor. Cursing silently he had reached under the bed and pulled out Kurt's cell phone. As he heard the car coming up the drive he had thrown it onto Kurt's bed and rushed downstairs to open the door up for them.

As Kurt walked in his tired eyes looked around as if he didn't recognize where he was. Blaine plastered the biggest smile he could manage onto his face.

"Welcome home Kurt, must feel good to get out of that hospital."

Kurt continued to look around as if he wasn't quite sure what to do.

"Kurt, hunny. You're in the guest bedroom for now okay." Carole said as she came in and placed the small bag of Kurt' s belongings down. Kurt seemed to take this as an instruction and obediently started t climb the stairs. Looking at each other Blaine and Carole followed knowing they couldn't leave him alone but not having worked out the details of who would watch him first.

"Kurt."

Blaine heard Burt say happily when Kurt had disappeared around the corner at the top of the stairs.

"I'm so glad to have you home. I think you're all set up in there but tell me if you need anything."

Blaine and Carole got to the top just in time to see Kurt walk into the guest room and peer around slightly before sitting on the bed.

"Don't you want to sit up for a while, project runways on soon." Carole said.

Kurt turned and laid down with his back to them once more.

* * *

><p>Don't worry, it will start to lighten up in another couple of chapters.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Hi guys, sorry for the week, I've been away. But never mind, this is a slightly happier chapter, we get Kurt back.

* * *

><p>School was harder than usual for Finn. He tried to keep his head down and go unnoticed but obviously that did not work. After first period Mercedes came up to him.<p>

"Hey, Kurt wasn't in Maths today. What's up is he ill?"

Finn opened his mouth to speak but didn't know what to say. He was not meant to tell people what had happened to Kurt. And he wouldn't want to even if he could. He didn't want anybody gossiping about his brother or judging him for what he had done. Yeah, he didn't understand it himself, he didn't know what had happened or how it would feel for a guy to be raped but he got the feeling it must be dreadful considering what Kurt had done.

"Uh... I don't know." Finn answered.

Mercedes gave him a weird look.

"Not knowing if your own brother is ill, dude you guys have got to look after each other better."

Then there was lunch where Rachel spent the entire hour having a go at him for not getting in touch with her on Sunday and then having a go at him for being quiet and asking if anything was wrong. But even though he would like to be able to tell her he couldn't.

Then there was Glee club. He sat at the back but when Mr. Shue came in and said right time to start everybody looked around and asked where Kurt was. Mr Shue said that Kurt was ill, and then everybody turned to him and Blaine and asked what was wrong. Blaine walked out which made everybody talk about whether they had broken up. Finn wished he could close his ears in the way he could close his eyes.

* * *

><p>The blood was thudding in Blaine's ears. He just couldn't take it anymore, all day he had tried to hold onto his happy expression, to interact with the class in the way he usually would; to get on with his work when he really just wanted to curl up somewhere quiet. He just couldn't handle it when everybody in Glee had turned to ask him what was wrong. He was just too tired and these were the people who had become his friends, the people who cared about Kurt. Instead of answering he just walked out, down the hallway to his locker which he punched to get rid of some frustration and rested his forehead against the cool metal. It didn't help. He sighed, he decided it would just be best if he took a walk to cool off and then headed over to Kurt's. He and Finn had decided that they would take alternative days on watching Kurt and after an entire day looking after him Carole would need to be relieved. Blaine had to remind himself he was doing this so that one day hopefully soon his beautiful boyfriend would start to talk and start to get better.<p>

On Monday Kurt did not talk, he ate some toast when prompted by Carole. Blaine felt relieved when a couple of hours later Burt came up to help Kurt to the toilet, he was not sure he could have managed that himself and still kept any module of sexual interest (not that he could think like that at the moment) in Kurt. Other than that he did not get up from the bed or turn from Blaine. Blaine talked to him softly about his day and stroked his arm. Then he played some of Kurt's favourite movies, nice innocent ones with music. He had planned to sleep their but Burt came in and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Go home tonight Kid. I want to be with him tonight."

Blaine had taken one look at Burt and nodded. He needed to be close to his son.

On Tuesday it was Finn's turn to look after Kurt after school. Still Blaine found himself going over there to sit with him for an hour and talk to him He would not know what he had said five minutes after saying it but it wouldn't have felt right to stay away. Blaine ate dinner at the Hudson Hummel house. But that night Kurt could not be told to eat, he would not respond to any demanding or pleasing it was as if he was even more absent than before.

Wednesday Blaine played Kurt's favourite songs and hummed along. He talked about the competition shows they had put on and how he had been receiving e-mails from the graduate warblers and what they were up to at college. He sung a version of teenage dreams replacing the words 'go all the way tonight' with 'we can just talk all night'. Kurt ate a little jelly which made Blaine want to cry because it's what people eat when they were sick and Kurt really was sick. His mind was sick, his soul was sick. Blaine fell asleep on the camp bed.

Thursday was bad. Blaine and Finn argued because Finn had told Rachel what had happened and Rachel had come to talk to him about it. He told Finn that he would be looking after Kurt that night and walked away. He knew he had reacted badly, but he didn't like to hear people talk about his boyfriend in hushed and sympathetic tones. He had felt completely lost and had called Wes. He didn't tell him what had happened but he told him that Kurt was very ill and they were not able to talk and Blaine felt so lonely. Wes had listened and told Blaine to hang on their because Kurt would get better and to just let Kurt know that he loved him every day even if it was just a txt. Blaine had hung up feeling even worse that before because he had not been able to talk about what had really happened.

At the end of the day Blaine had headed to his locker to pick up the book he needed to do his homework. He had frozen at the sight in front of him. Sebastian, smiling and holding a huge bouquet of white and yellow flowers. Blaine sighed, he was to tired to feel angry.

"What do you want?" He said as he opened his locker.

"Blaine, I'm sorry. Wes called earlier today and told us all that Kurt was ill. He said it sounded bad and the Warblers who were at school with him wanted to send him a get well soon cards. I wanted to bring it over myself. Is he alright?"

Blaine considered what to say and decided to go with the vague answer he had been giving the teachers. It made Kurt's illness sound bad enough to keep him out of school for quiet a while. He had given a completely different and more evasive answer to Kurt's friends. 'Don't worry you know Kurt, he'll be back in no time.'

"He can't talk very much and is confined to bed but I'm confident he'll pull through, Kurt is strong."  
>Yeah, listen, I'm so sorry for everything Blaine, you have to believe me. I just.. I just have a lot of fucked up stuff going on and I know I shouldn't be mean and I can't believe with what happened to Dave and now Kurt's ill, I've been so horrid to him. I just.. wish I'd have been nicer."<p>

Blaine turned to look at Sebastian. He was trying, and they all made mistakes. They were all only human and that was forgivable.

"Hey. " Blaine touched his shoulder. " It wasn't you fault David … " His mouth dried up and he couldn't say so he just gave a false smile and shook his head and carried on. "And it's certainly not your fault Kurt's ill."

"Please forgive me Blaine. I never knew that rock salt could do that I just thought it would sting a little I'm so sorry. " Tears were falling down Sebastian's face.

Yes, Blaine had hated him for a long time but now he just looked like a lost little kid and Blaine couldn't force himself to feel anything except pity for him. Maybe he was just a mislead kid like the rest of them.  
>"It's alright."<p>

"I know you probably don't want to not with everything I've done, but if you ever need somebody to talk to or to grab a coffee with, I'm here."

"Thanks for the offer." Blaine reached out to take the flowers and card. "And thanks for the flowers, Kurt will love them."

* * *

><p>Blaine had put the flowers in a vase the instant he got to Kurt's house. They had already started to drop slightly. Blaine rearranged them neatly in the vase and took them up with the card to Kurt. He smiled at Carol as he opened the door. She was sat in the corner reading a book. She smiled back. Blaine walked over to Kurt and bent down to kiss him on his cheek.<p>

"Your colour is a little bit better today." Blaine said.

"He had some fruit and toast at lunch." Carol said softly smiling at him.

"Have you had a good day?" Blaine asked to Carol.

"Not so bad." She answered. "Are you okay if I leave you for a while hunny?"

Blaine nodded. It seemed weird that somebody would ask him if he was okay being close to his boyfriend.

"Call me if you need me."

"Thanks."

"Do you want a sandwich?"

"Maybe later."

Carol left and Blaine felt like he was able to take his first breath of the day because that was what he felt like at school without Kurt there, like he couldn't breathe.

He looked at Kurt as he lay unmoving, he wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be alright but since the 'incident' he had not touched Kurt other than to stroke his shoulder and kiss his cheek. Blaine didn't know how he would react if he got any closer but something had to change. Kurt couldn't carry on like this he didn't seem to be progressing or getting better in anyway. Blaine didn't know what was going on in his head and he hoped that whilst he was being quiet he was working things out and mending scars and not just repeating what had happened in his mind. He feared that the most, that whilst they were all sat there leaving him be he was reliving his painful experience over and over again. Whenever Blaine lay down to sleep he saw Kurt alone and crying and in pain. Every time he was away from him he had this niggling fear that Kurt would die. That he would just stop living or that he had just been imagining everything since he had found Kurt in the bathroom and that he was actually dead and he would go to his house to find he was gone.

Blaine needed to hold him. His chest was hurting and there were tears in his eyes. He really wanted to hold Kurt's warm body against him and be surrounded by that Kurt smell and remember all the times they had lain together in the past. Feeling scared because he did not know whether he would frighten Kurt but too desperate to let that stop him lifted up the covers of Kurt's bed and climbed in. He laid chest to chest with Kurt not touching for a moment until he built up enough confidence to move forwards and wrap his arms around Kurt's waist and up along his back. He rested his head on his chest and listened to the beating of his heart .After a moment Kurt moved jumping backwards as if having received an electric shock. Blaine looked up quickly fear running through him, he had done something wrong after all.

Kurt was blinking and looking up at him his eyes clear and focused; focused entirely on Blaine. Blaine found himself sighing in relief as he saw a small sparkle in those eyes, a shred of recognition or life. Not just the dull deadness he had been seeing the last few days.

"Blaine." He whispered his voice sounding unsure and raspy through disuse.

"Oh Baby." Blaine said feeling the tears start to run down his cheek. "I've missed you."

Kurt threw himself into his arms and snuggled his nose into Blaine jumper. Blaine cried even more at the glorious feeling of Kurt's weight and warmth in his arms once more. It was such a relief to see any kind of reaction from him, crying was much better than the dull unmoving state he had been in. He ran his fingers through his hair and made small soothing sounds and Kurt wept against him. After what seemed like an infinite amount of time the tears seemed to run out and Kurt tried to pull away. Blaine just held him closer though.

"Why are you holding me?" Kurt whispered.

"Because I love you and I've missed you and I just want to make everything alright again." Blaine said through his tears as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You want to be with me?" Kurt said pulling away and looking up at him with those beautiful watery blue eyes. He looked so innocent and vulnerable in that moment. Blaine wanted to cry harder at the fact that he had to ask. What had been going through his mind all these hours, had Blaine not let him know he loved him in everyway possible? He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes clear and held Kurt's face in his hands. So Kurt would look straight in his eyes and know how sincere he was.

"Oh, of course I do. Kurt you are everything to me. I'm here for you however and whenever you want. You call the shots here Kurt."

"He said that you wouldn't want me. He said that I wouldn't want you anymore and you wouldn't want me."

Blaine felt a shot of pain worse than anything he had ever felt before in his life. He almost doubled over with hit and had to gasp for breathe. Finally he was able to answer.

"Who did? Who did this Kurt?"

Kurt went quiet and kept his head buried in Blaine's jumper. Blaine decided to let it go for now and ask another important question that was in his mind.

"You still want me don't you?"

"I don't know." Kurt muttered quietly. Blaine tried to stop the pain that spread through him again.

"I don't want anybody touching me."

"I can live with that." Blaine said feeling slight relief and hope that there would still be a chance to be with Kurt again one day. "Just let me stay with you for now and let me be your friend and we can talk later." Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head. "When you feel better."

"What if I never do?" Kurt whispered.

"Shush."

Kurt pulled away and this time Blaine let him. He looked around the spare room as if confused to find himself there despite having spent the last few days there. He looked down at his arms then and his eyes widened at the thick white bandages around his wrists. Blaine was surprised as his lover started shivering.

"Kurt?" He said softly running his fingers through his hair.

"It really happened." Kurt whispered tears streaming down his face again.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I.. I'm sorry."

"Shush." Blaine said again grabbing him and pulling him against his chest.

"It's okay. You were in pain. It's okay Kurt."

Blaine could hear the footsteps coming down the hallway. He knew their alone together was almost over and for an instant he hated the owner of those footsteps. Then he turned and fiercely whispered in Kurt's ear.

"I'll love you no matter what."

Burt appeared at the door a second later.

"Everything alright..." He stopped speaking when he saw Kurt crying against Blaine. He crossed the room in two long strides and placed his hands on Kurt's back. His eyes were wide with glad shock.

"Kurt.."

"Dad." Kurt cried immediately moving away from Blaine and throwing himself at his father.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry, I'm sorry , I'm sorry."

"Hey shush kid." Burt said running his hands up and down his sons back. "It's going to be okay everything is going to be alright. "

"I didn't mean to dad."

"I know you didn't. Kurt, if you ever feel that much pain again you come to me, or to Carol or to Finn or to Blaine. You just never hurt yourself again. Okay?"

Kurt nodded numbly.

Blaine and Burt shared a look over the mess of Kurt's hair. It was a look of pure relief that the boy they loved was back.


	13. Chapter 13

Bit of a confusing one. It's all over the place in perspectives, but as always change of perspective (or time) is marked with a line. I think I've mucked up all my days but bear with me.

Half Alive Chapter 13.

"Don't crowd him, don't crowd him." Burt laughed as Carol and Finn ran towards Kurt. Both he and Blaine had to move quickly once Carol and Finn had arrived at Kurt's bed room door because the giant Finn had practically thrown himself at his younger brother.

Kurt had patted his shoulder in a confused and shocked manner. He looked completely lost in the boys embrace.

"You.. you... Kurt."

"Take a breath Finn." Carol said walking over and stroking both her son's and step son's hair.

"I .. I love you man."

Kurt buried his head into Finn's shoulder. There were more tears. Blaine found himself taking a step backwards towards the door he felt as if he shouldn't be there, watching Kurt's family holding him.

He slipped out the door and took a deep breathe. Kurt was back, he was talking again. But Blaine knew that the troubles were far from over. Now with Kurt talking and looking at him he was forced to think about what would come next. Kurt had been raped. That was an abstract thought twenty minutes ago but it was now coming down on him. His boyfriend had been raped and now he was in a state where he could remember it and speak about it. He could tell them who had hurt him. But he could tell Blaine the truth about all the horrible things he had been imagining. He closed his eyes, he didn't know if he could handle this. He loved Kurt more than anything and that caused him to want to be brave and able to look after Kurt however he needed to be looked after. Unfortunately him loving Kurt so much made it so much more painful to think that he had been hurt.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his arm. It was Carol, she was looking worried.

" You alright Hun?"

"Yeah, yeah, glad Kurt's back."

Carol nodded.

"I was going to make Kurt some food, he asked for pasta. Would you like some?"

Blaine nodded.

"Can I help?"

Carol looked slightly more confused but she nodded.

"Okay. Come on."

* * *

><p>The phone rang and Burt sighed. It stopped after a moment and Burt sighed. He was happy sat with his son's even though they weren't doing much except taking it at turns to hug Kurt, to cry and to mutter apologies and words of support.<p>

"Burt." Carole called upstairs. "It's the garage. Do you want me to tell them to call you back?"

Burt was about to say yes when he caught Finn's eye. It was obvious he wanted some alone time with his little brother.

"I'll be right down." Burt shouted. He touched Kurt's shoulder one last time reminding himself that he was there.

"I'll see you in a minute kiddo. Okay?"

"Yeah Dad." Kurt replied.

* * *

><p>Finn watched Burt walk away he waited till the door was closed to turn to Kurt.<p>

"What did you think you were doing?"

Kurt looked at him with wide tired eyes. Finn knew he was hurting, he got it. But to do what he had done, what had he been thinking he had caused so many people so much pain.

"Finn I'm sorry, I didn't... I... I just wanted it all to stop."

"All what? All your friends? Blaine? Mom? Your dad? Me? You wanted all of that to stop."

"No, the.." Kurt shook his head.

"He found you Kurt, Blaine found you."

Kurt looked up with wide blue eyes his face absolutely aghast.

"What?"

"He found you in the shower. Think about how that felt for him. He didn't know that anything was wrong. None of us did, why didn't you tell us?"

"He said.."

They both shut up as the door opened. Burt looked in.

"Sorry boys that was just... Kurt, is something the matter?"

"I.. I've made so many mistakes Dad. I've hurt so many people; I don't know how to put it right. I don't know what to do."

Finn moved out of the way as Burt sat down to hug Kurt.

"It's okay, we're all just so glad that you're still with us."

"But Blaine, Dad."

"Blaine's happy too."

"No Dad, he.. he found me."

Finn watched as Burt turned to look at him with cold accusing eyes.

"What? I think he ought to know how selfish he's been."

"Finn, get out."

"But..."

" I know you're angry but this isn't the way to deal with it."

"He's right Dad."

"There are different sorts of right Kurt. You think Blaine's upset because he found you like that, well yeah he is. But don't you think he's glad as well. Don't you think that we're all so lad that he found you before.." Burt's voice cracked and he looked down.

"We all love you. We're all trying to understand, but for now you just get better and when you're ready to tell us then we'll all be here to listen."

Kurt nodded dumbly.

Finn went downstairs into the kitchen where he saw Blaine and his mother cooking.

"I'm going for a drive."

His Mom turned around looking surprised.

"Dinners going to be ready in twenty minutes."

"I'm not hungry."

"Finn what's wrong?"

He heard her take several steps toward him as he turned his back to walk out. No, he couldn't just walk out and leave, he was angry he turned back around to look at them.

"Nothing I am doing is right! I don't know how to act! T's not like anybody ever prepared me for this."

"None of us were prepared for this Sweetie."

"But you all knew what to do. Blaine knew to try stopping the bleeding; Burt knew to call the ambulance. You know how to get him to eat, what do I know? Nothing!"

"I know this is a very confusing situation for you. It's confusing for all of us Finn but it's all alright."

"No it's not." Finn said stalking out the door. He needed to drive. He needed to be alone.

* * *

><p>"Hey beautiful, I brought you pasta." Blaine said. He was trying his best to act like everything was alright. To not show Kurt how much his emotions were spinning around like a tornado inside him.<p>

Kurt sat up hugging his knee to his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that Kurt. We... we all forgive you."

"Finn doesn't."

"What has he said?"

Kurt shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. " He smoothed his legs down and Blaine put the trey on his legs before sitting on the edge of the bed himself.

"Try some it's delicious."

"Please don't."

"Please don't what?"

"Pretend like everything's okay."

Blaine sighed and looked down at his hands.

"I.. who.." Blaine shook his head. No, it wasn't time for that yet. "Okay, Carol is going to sleep in here tonight?"

"What? Why?" Kurt said taking a bite of his pasta.

"Because you're on suicide watch. You asked me to stop pretending that everything is alright."

"Suicide watch.. but.. "

"Have you not noticed that you've had other people sat in your room all week?"

"Week? How long..." Kurt looked down confused and Blaine immediately felt the need to put his arm around him to comfort him.

"Hey it's alright. You were in the hospital for three days remember?"

"Kind of."

"And then you came back here, that was four days ago. It's now Thursday."

"Thursday?"

Kurt looked completely lost.

"Yeah."

Blaine looked down at the bed throw. Kurt had obviously been completely somewhere else all this time, he had no idea that Blaine had been sat by his bed talking to him.

"Want.. want me to fill you in on what's been happening at school this week?" Blaine asked trying to be nonchalant.

"Who knows?"

Blaine took a deep breath.

"Rachel, it was Finn who told her but not about the rape. Everybody else from school just thinks you're sick."

The silence was so full of tension that Blaine was forced to look up. Kurt's eyes were wide.

"What?"

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his wall.

"Kurt what? What did I say?"

Then it struck him, he'd said rape. Nobody had acknowledged it yet. Though they had all danced around it nobody had outright told Kurt that they knew what happened to him.

Blaine reached over and took Kurt's hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kurt shook his head as thick tears started to run down his face.

"No."

Blaine stroked his thumb over the back of Kurt's hand. He knew there was nothing to say, nothing to do but wait and eventually Kurt opened his water blue eye and looked at him.

"I just want for it to never have happened. To go back in time and just to be happy like I was at the competition singing on that stage with you and Mercedes. But it's not going to happen is it? It's never going to go back to that. I'm always going to remember." He lifted his thickly bandaged arms. "And I'm always going to have these to show everybody just how damaged I am."

"Kurt." Blaine's chest felt tight as tears ran down his own cheeks. "I.. everything.."

"Don't tell me everything's going to be alright Blaine."

"Can.. " Blaine had to take a couple of deep breathes because he was crying to hard to get the words out. "Can I hold you?"

Kurt looked over to him, his eyes that had been hard seconds before softened. He rested his palm on Blaine's cheek and brushed away some of the tears.

"Blaine. I'm sorry, I'm always going to be broken. You'll be better off with somebody else."

"NO." Blaine said fiercely looking up. "I don't believe that. I don't accept that. I love you and even if you were broken into a thousand parts, which your not, and I only got to keep one single part of you it would be enough. It would be batter than anybody else. Because you are the only one for me Kurt. Don't you remember that? He's not taken that away from us Kurt. Nobody is going to take this away form us. You told me that once, remember, at prom."

Kurt was silent. He turned away from him.

"All I want is to hold you." Blaine said. He felt so much longing to just hold Kurt, to never let go, to tell him that he was still worth it and they were still going to have a future together.

"Okay." Kurt finally said.

They placed the tray on the floor and Blaine stretched out next to Kurt and held his arms open letting Kurt choose the position he was most comfortable with. Kurt laid down next to him. Their shoulders touched. Blaine felt disappointed but then felt fingers tapping at his palm. He opened it and felt Kurt squeeze his hand. It was enough. Anything Kurt would offer him in that moment was enough.


	14. Chapter 14

Half Alive

"How is he?" William had been avoiding asking all week. It was too much to ask a teenager. He wanted to be there for them and to support them but in a situation like this, how much could he interfere?

Blaine looked at him for a second. The mask always seemed to stay on with that boy. William had not known him for as long as the others. He had been glad to know that Kurt was no longer lonely and to have such an obviously talented boy join his team. But he didn't open up to him; his music was note perfect well choreographed and dynamic, but rarely did any of it show what he was feeling inside. He kept a smile on his face that did not slip and tried to be polite and enthusiastic all the time. In the last few days Will had really seen the falseness of the demeanour, the flickers of a frown when he thought nobody was looking. The slight pained look.

"Kurt, he's fine. Really pulling together now I'm going to get some homework for him later today so if you have anything you would.."

"Blaine." Will put his hand on the boys shoulder. "Come with me."

"I have .."

"I'll write a note excusing you from your next class."

"Okay..." Blaine was obviously not all that sure about coming into his office. Will pulled out a chair for him and gave him a small paper cup of water.

"Blaine..." Will sighed not knowing how to start this. " I know... I know Kurt was attacked."

Blaine looked at him open mouthed Will thought that he was going to put the mask back up but instead he crumbled. He let out a deep breath and callapsed back into his seat his hands coming up to his face.

"I don't know what it is you've been told Blaine, and I don't know what happened exactly either just that Kurt isn't ill and he was badly inured. So I don't know what to say to you but just know that I am here to help. You don't have to tell me anything but if you feel you need somebody to talk to I am here for you. I can keep things confidential, or if you like I can get Miss Pillsbury to talk to you."  
>"Told." Blaine laughed harshly. "I found him."<p>

"Found him?" Will asked. "In the locker room?"

Blaine looked up his eyes flashing dark.

"Locker room?"

"I.. uh.." Will hesitated, the duties of a teacher were complicated. Sometimes how best to protect the kids in his care was not clear and many avoided getting close to their students. But Will didn't believe that he believed that he could best protect his students, at least some of them, the most vulnerable by being their friends. He did not know if he should tell Blaine what he had seen but then he was worried for Kurt and desperately wanted to know what had happened to him and it looked like Blaine really needed to get it off his chest.

"Sorry, It was just that the police were here at the weekend and it looked as if somebody had been attacked in the locker room."

"It was here?" Blaine visibly paled. "Somebody at the school." He muttered.

"Perhaps. You told me you found him, where did you find him Blaine?" Will pushed gently.

"In the shower."

"The shower?"

"The shower was on, I called out to him. We were meant to be going to the cinema but I had arrived early and we had time."

Will shook his head he didn't understand what he was saying, it was confused but then the boy was upset and probably confused.

Blaine went quiet.

"And then what happened?"

"I opened the door, there was blood everywhere." Blaine callapsed into a wave of full blown sobs. Will took a moment to let the words sink in; Kurt had been badly injured if there was really that much blood. Or there was the other option... shower.. no, not Kurt. Will got up and placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder.

"Blaine I'm going to call Miss Pillsbury alright?"

Blaine looked up cheeks dripping with tears and face panicked.

"No, I'm alright. Really." He stood up as if to leave.

"No you're not." Will said. "Sit back down Blaine. You don't have to talk to me, you can just sit here if you need. But I get the feeling that you haven't had much time to get your thoughts together."

"I've been looking after Kurt."

"Of course you have, and you're really good at looking after Kurt. He's much more settled and confident in himself since he met you. He's less alone."

Blaine looked down.

"I don't know." He muttered.

"Well I do."

"Mr. Shuester..." Blaine started as if he was going to say something but then shook his head. He seemed so much younger than he usually did, for all their plans they were just children.

"It's okay." Will said. "Trust me Blaine."

"Kurt was raped."

The words took a long time to filter into Will's mind. He could not believe it, he found himself collapsing into his seat. Kurt, one of his students, raped. He knew these things happened but ... not Kurt. Not after everything he had already been through, not when he had always worked so hard and kept so honest and was just about to get where he wanted to go in life. Not another set back. Not something like this, not such a gross abuse of a person's rights and dignity and body. But he couldn't sit here and cry like he wanted to. Somebody who cared even more about Kurt was sat here in front of him, somebody who was going to be a lot more affected than him by this. He had to let Blaine talk.

"How do you feel?" He asked knowing that it was a loaded and inept question but it would let Blaine express himself at least a little.

Blaine shook his head.

"Angry, more angry than I've ever been, and more scared too."

"Scared?"

"I might loose him."

Will shook his head.

"I don't believe that."

"He doesn't want to be with me."

"He's confused and hurt, it might take him a while but he'll want you around again. He knows that he needs you, I know that he loves you, just give him time."

Blaine nodded.

"How is Kurt?"

"He's talking again. He didn't for almost a week. He wouldn't eat either; it was like he was in a coma. I thought he didn't want to live anymore. I thought he'd never come back to me."

"You know Kurt would never give up."  
>"But he did."<p>

"What do you mean?"

"The shower, he slit his wrists."

Will felt a rising nausea he felt a hand touch his wrist. He looked up and saw Blaine staring at him. His boyfriend had been raped and yet he was trying to comfort him.

"Thank you for letting me talk Mr. Shue." The dapper mask was back on and Will knew it wouldn't come back off again.

"It's a alright Blaine , you need to. I'm always here. You let me know how Kurt is. And I don't want you bottling anything up anymore. You come talk to me, you sing, you do your boxing, do anything you need but don't bottle it up. It's too much for you; it's too much for anybody."

"I won't."

* * *

><p>Blaine looked around. Glee club, his friends and Kurt's friends for much longer. Was it one of them? Not Artie, Mike? He wouldn't think it before hand but people hide things. Puck? He never trusted him and yet he just didn't believe that h was holding back any homosexual tendencies. Finn, his brother, they say that it's usually the people closest to you. But he had been with Rachel at the time, hadn't he? No, he didn't think it was Finn. Sam? Rory?<p>

Mr. Shuester came in and gave him a sharp nod. Perhaps a teacher? The pianist he was always around them and never talked. He felt a tap at his shoulder and saw that Finn was looking at him. They had talked that morning, stiffly in the car. They had talked about when and what to tall the New Directions. They were really starting to push about where Kurt was, they were curious about how quiet he and Finn were being about his whereabouts. They perhaps thought it was something really bad (which it was) or a piece of juicy gossip. Some wondered whether he would be back in time to be properly included in the nationals or whether he would miss some of those important senior dates. They had decided it was time to tell them something.

Blaine felt his hands tremble and took a deep breath and set a smile on his face. He walked down the steps to the centre of the room and smiled at Mr. Shue who looked slightly shocked.

"Can I make an announcement?"

"Okay." Shue said after a moment.

Blaine turned to face the gathered club.

"I uh... I want to thank you all for your concern about Kurt in this last week. I'm sorry I haven't been able to tell you anything but Kurt were suddenly taken ill last weekend and as he was unable to communicate I didn't know what was best to tell you. He is now out of hospital and talking again and missing you all. He is still quiet unwell and you won't be able to visit him for a while yet but i'm sure he would appreciate any messages you would like me to pass on to him or any cards you'd like to send."

"My dolphin is ill." Brittany said worriedly to Santana.

"Can we phone?" Tina asked.

"Um.. you can try him on his mobile." Blaine said thinking about how he had picked it up a few days previously and not passed it on to Kurt. It would probably need charging up now. That way Kurt could decide himself when and who he wanted to talk to.

"You still haven't told us what's wrong with him." Mercedes said. "Our friends been in hospital and by the sounds of it really ill and you're all being secretive about it."

Blaine wanted to scream at them all to leave him alone, didn't they know that it would hurt them to know what had happened to Kurt. Not as much as it hurt him and his family maybe but still.. if they cared about Kurt.. why were they so eager to hear bad news?

"Um.. I think Blaine is just protecting Kurt and his family from too many questions at this time. The important thing we must remember is that Kurt has been very ill and though would love to know you're all thinking of him still needs lots of peace and quiet if he's going to get well quickly enough to join us at nationals. Right Blaine?" Mr Shue said stepping forwards.

Blaine gave him a grateful look.

"Yes. "

* * *

><p>"Lets get on with the lesson then." Mr. Shue said quickly before anybody could say another word. Blaine sat down and folded his arms across his chest. He couldn't hear a word Mr. Shue was saying as eh was too aware of all the curious eyes looking at him.<p>

Finn walked into the locker room. His Mom had been having a go at him to bring his gym kit back to be washed and had texted him just as he was about to leave the room. He stopped when he saw Blaine sat in the bench across from his locker staring intently at the space in front of him. His expression was unreadable but there was a kind of intensity to it that made the hairs on the back of Finn's neck stand up.

Finn took a step forwards, when Blaine didn't notice him he glanced in the direction of his locker. There was a dint there where the paint had all flaked off. He had seen it after gym on Monday but he hadn't paid too much attention or considered how it had got there during the weekend. Now he looked at it the passing thought that some guys must have been mucking around and play fighting after a Saturday work out passed through his mind.

"Blaine? " Finn asked still feeling that jolt of nerves. He and Blaine had never been close, mainly because he knew that Blaine was a better singer and could dance. But even he could see that Kurt was a lot calmer since he had become his boyfriend. And he had known what to do with Kurt lately; something Finn didn't know how to do.

"It happened here."

"What?"

"Kurt, it happened here."

Finn looked around for a second before he realized what Blaine was saying. Here. The room he had spent a lot of time in, laughed with his football friends in. Dressed and given himself prep talks in. It was a room he had hardly ever noticed, it was just a room. He was relaxed and contented here. But now he wasn't, now he looked around and he saw his brother in pain. His mind imagined him curled over in that slightly dirty corned crying. He heard his sobs.

Finn closed his eyes and tried to rid himself of the sounds. It hurt but he needed to know.

"What happened to him?"

Blaine looked at him his expression not changing.

"He was raped Finn, where have you been for the last week?"

"I know that. "I just.. I wish I knew.. I don't understand."

"Gay sex? Anal sex? It's.." Blaine started sounding more than a little pissed off.

"No, I get it. I just, did he hurt him? Did he fight back?"

Blaine nodded not looking up from the point on the floor where he was staring.  
>" I can't stop picturing it. Different scenarios play in my head. Kurt hasn't told me anything, but I know one thing when I find him.. he's going to wish he'd never been born or laid eyes on my boyfriend." Blaine looked up from under his thick eyebrows, he looked insane and frightening and Finn resisted the urge to take a step back.<p>

Finn sat down next to him heavily; here was a long uncomfortable silence.

"Do you.." Finn started breaking the silence. "Do you think he knew who it was?"

Blaine nodded, just a brief movement of the head.

"How?"

"Because I know Kurt."

Finn looked around his eyes fixing on the dent in his locker now knowing where it came from.

"Why wouldn't he tell us who it is?"

Blaine shook his head quietly.

"I don't know. Because he doesn't want to make it real, doesn't want to have too talk about it? Perhaps he thinks we won't believe him. There must be some reason."

Finn nodded slowly.

"I want to find him too. He hurt Kurt, He really hurt Kurt. And I'm going to hurt him back."

* * *

><p>Love reviews, I know there are twice as many e-mail alerts as reviews so I'm wondering of you actually like what you're reading.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

Half Alive

Kurt looked around his room, except it wasn't his room. It was the spare room and he'd never slept in it before. It was odd. There was some of his stuff in the room. His TV. d.v.d's and IPod. He'd put the picture of his mother face down in the draw yesterday it reminded him too much of those messages.

_Be glad that your mother is dead. At least she doesn't have to see what a whore you've become._

There were flowers on his bedside table and he reached over to touch a bright yellow daffodil. He smiled slightly, Blaine knew he loved daffodils. The smile quickly disappeared when he thought about Blaine. He knew what had happened and he was still around. But he didn't know what Kurt was now, he didn't know how filthy Kurt was, how empty and how he knew there would never be a time in his life when he would feel comfortable with somebody touching him intimately again. He had to teach him, had to let him know that he was just too good for Kurt. He had to find somebody else, somebody better.

And what about Sebastian? Kurt's stomach flipped as his face came into his mind and he thought he would throw up. No he wouldn't think of that. He knew he'd have to tell Blaine, have to tell him that he was coming after him but he didn't think he could face it.

He felt ill and weak and shaky but he couldn't just stay in bed like this. He couldn't be left alone with his own thoughts. He needed to do something to clear his head, he needed to be busy. Surely if he'd been away for a week there must be some sort of homework around for him to do. He pulled his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed his dressing gown.

He felt shy as he poked his head around the kitchen door. It felt to him like he shouldn't even be here in his own house. Carole turned around and gave him a wide smile.

"Hey."

"Hi Hunny your up." She was over to him in a matter of seconds and wrapping him in a tight hug.

It felt weird and he wanted to push her away. Yesterday he was too confused to know what he was feeling. He had woken up when he knew he hadn't been asleep. It was hard to believe it had been a week, he hardly remembered what had happened he had some odd memories. They were like the flashes of dreams that you get halfway through the morning afterwards, you try to grab them, and to make sense of them but you can't. He got the feeling that there had been meals that he hadn't tasted and movies that he hadn't watched and conversations that he hadn't heard. His body felt like achy jelly and his mind even worse. He tried not to notice the pain in his arms. He did not want to think about that. He was not ready to deal with that.

Carole pulled away.

"Sit down I'll make you some lunch."

Kurt's stomach flipped again.

"No thanks."

She gave him a sideways look.

"You have to eat Hun."

"I will later, I'm not feeling well."  
>"Oh?" She said a little too loudly and high pitched.<p>

"Don't make a big deal out it. " Kurt sighed.

Carole gave a reproachful look and turned around.

"Coffee?" She finally asked him.

"Okay." Kurt said feeling slightly guilty about snapping at her when she was just trying to help him. He just kept mucking up and causing his family pain.

"Why don't you go sit in living room, Blaine set the timer to record America's next top model."

"No."

Carole turned to give him another reproachful look.

"You have to do something Kurt."

"I know I was going to do some house cleaning. It's about time that I went through the magazine rack." Kurt said.

"Do you want to help me make dinner later?"

"Sure."

"I got a rack of lamb. If you want something else though.."

"Lamb's Dad's favorite."

"He can have it another day, we could have that goat cheese and pear salad you like."

"Lamb is fine." Kurt said clearly. He was really annoyed with all this 'special treatment' and being treated with kid gloves. He didn't deserve special treatment, he wasn't ill he was just stupid; he'd done this to himself. He didn't want them to fuss over him; he just wanted to be left alone so that he could come up with his own distractions.

Kurt took the coffee offered and went into the front room. He looked around with précised and practiced eyes. The tops of the picture frames needed dusting, the mantle piece could be waxed, the magazines thrown out (vogue issues categorized and stored) hovering under the rug and he might as well do under the furnisher as well.

* * *

><p>Kurt looked up at the clock; he'd been cleaning for three hours. He was sweating and he felt a bit breathless and lightheaded. The room was now perfect though. Everything was waxed and washed and lightly fragranced with his own recipe of home made spray.<p>

He looked around. The problem with everything being perfect was that there was now nothing left to clean. He needed to do something else. He grabbed the hover and headed upstairs.

He did Finn's room and Carole's and Burt then as he was doing the hallway he started to feel weird, shaky and sick. After another minute his vision blurred. He carried on.

* * *

><p>Kurt opened his eyes and groaned. Why was his head banging?<p>

"Kurt?" There was a hand over his. He glanced over and saw his Father sat next to his bed. How did he end up on his bed? Hadn't he been in the hallway?

"What…"

"You callapsed Kurt." He said looking at him with a disappointed and worried look.

"Oh, sorry. Skipped breakfast."

"And lunch."

"Yeah."

His Dad sighed. Kurt hated knowing he was upsetting him. He'd done it again, he'd made another mistake.

"Sorry." Kurt said. "You didn't carry me did you?"

His dad looked down slightly.

"Dad, you're heart!"

"Hey, at the moment you are the weak one."

"I'm fine."

"You callapsed. Kurt. Want to tell me what this is about?"

"I was just spring cleaning."

Burt sighed again and patted his leg.

"I'm getting you a Sandwich and a slice of cake which you will eat and then you will go back to sleep."

"Okay." Kurt agreed. "But I'm having a shower first, I stink and my skin is terrible." Kurt said. He didn't really feel like doing his skin routine but he couldn't keep hurting his dad. He had to pretend to be feeling alright again. He had to smile and do the things that he usually did. It was the only way to stop hurting his family. Blaine was another matter though; he had to keep Blaine away. He couldn't act in front of Blaine he'd see right through it. He needed to keep him away and somehow he needed to keep him safe.

* * *

><p>There was a loud bang and Kurt woke up suddenly. For a second his heart raced and he didn't know where he was but then he spotted Blaine sporting a rather sheepish look.<p>

"Hi Baby." He said.

"Hey." Kurt said. "Did you just break something?"

"Uh.. Picture frame, I'll replace it."

Blaine stared at him with an adorable expression that he recognized but an intensity that he did not.

"I love you." Blaine said. He was leaning in, Kurt didn't have time to panic or do anything except take a deep breath in that he didn't manage to finish before Blaine's lips were on his. The lips were so familiar, the pressure and the way they moved against his slow and sure. It was over quickly and as Blaine pulled back Kurt saw the unsure look in his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Kurt looked him. His nervous look made his heartache. He loved him so much, but he was hurting him so much. He had to tear off the bandage, but he couldn't, not today. If he did it today he thought it would literally kill him.

"Yeah." Kurt breathed.

Blaine sat back down.

"You're dad told me you weren't feeling well today."

"I'm fine." Kurt said briefly wondering if it would ever be true.

Blaine nodded.

"So what did you do today?"

Blaine looked down for a second as if he was thinking up a decent lie.

"I told the glee club you were feeling better. They've all been asking after you. I think they might be clubbing together to get a 'get well soon' gift, and they know your love of scarves." Blaine said with a large smile.

"Hmm." Kurt said non-commitment. He did not deserve a gift. There was a long moment of silence. Kurt looked around trying to find something to talk about.

"The flowers are lovely." He said noticing the flowers by his bed again.

"I know. Sebastian might be a bit of a Jerk at times but he has good taste."

Kurt's stomach flipped he felt a rising panic. He was going to die, right here right now.

"Se.." He could not say the name his mouth had gone dry.

Blaine hadn't noticed.

"He brought the flowers for you, apparently news got to the Warblers that you were ill."

"GET RID OF THEM!" Kurt shouted. Blaine turned to him with a stunned look.

"PLEASE! BLAINE GET RID OF THEM!"

He reached over trying to grab the flowers. He just wanted them gone, his fingers brushed against the glass heavily and it fell to the floor and shattered water, glass and daffodils scattering everywhere.

"Kurt?" Blaine looked shocked. Kurt jumped out of the bed. There was a sudden pain in his foot he looked down and saw blood dripping from his foot.

Blood, there was blood everywhere. The water was hitting his face and back. He could hear a distance voice calling to him.

"Kurt?"

Blaine, the love of his life was calling to him.

Everything went black.


	16. Chapter 16

It's the one you've all been waiting for , so leave a review it's the writers version of a tip.

Oh we're going back to go forwards again.

Half Alive 16

Burt had only just got in from a short shift at the Tyre shop. The guys had understood that he had needed time off, they didn't pry. But when he wasn't around certain thing's didn't get done, ordering, safety checks, shift schedules. His son was the most important thing in the world to him but he did need to get back to work. Carole had three weeks sympathy leave and with Kurt getting better he needed less watching. He;d have to have a quiet word with Carole about how comfortable she was with staying at home for another two weeks.

He walked through the front room noticing the smell of polish. He smiled as he entered the kitchen. Carole was rubbing herbs on a rack of lamb. His favorite. He felt his chest tighten as he watched her humming along. He loved her, he had could not believe his luck sometimes, to have had two great loves in his life. And to have brought up a wonderful son and then to have adopted another, entering into politics was surprisingly fun and he liked talking about important topics and fighting for the rights of ordinary men like him and men like his son too. Up to a week ago his life had been perfect, for years he had just been going through the motions but the last few years he had really been living life.

He walked up behind Carole and wrapped his arms around her waist. She melted back into his arms warm and familiar. They had barely touched in a week other than to offer each other comfort. Now resting his nose against her neck he realized just how much he missed her.

"My hands are covered in butter." She mumbled.

"Don't care." Burt muttered back squeezing her slippery hands and placing a light kiss to her neck.

"I love you."

"I know you do. " Carole replied. "And I love you too."

She sighed and Burt felt her tense slightly against him.

"What is it?"

"Kurt's being really manic today."

"What do you mean?"

"His been cleaning but.. it's like.."

"He's up?"

"Yes but.." She pulled away from him slightly and turned to face him.

"He;s been cleaning, without a break since he got up over three hours ago."

"He always cleans when he's stressed."

"Burt, I'm trying to say there's something unhealthy about it. He won't take a break and he's moving at a million miles a minute."

Burt sighed, he had really hoped that Kurt talking and being up meant that he was getting better. But apparently not. He just wanted his son back.

"Okay, I'll go talk to him. But can we try to have a date night tomorrow. I mean I can talk to Finn and see if he'll stay in with Kurt. We'll keep our phones on.."

Carol was smiling and shaking her head.

"What come on, you and me need some chill out time. Some alone time. The boys will be alright for two hours."

"Okay." She finally agreed.

"Great, we'll stay close. Bread sticks. I'm going to go talk to Kurt." Burt said kissing her once more on the cheek and climbing up the stairs.

If Burt didn't know what a heart attack felt like he would have swore he was having one when he reached the top of the stairs. Kurt was lying on his side in the middle of the hallway completely unconscious. He dropped down to the floor next to him and quickly checked his breathing and pulse before looking over his body trying to find signs of injury. He couldn't see anything and his fear that Kurt had cut his wrists again was quickly banished buy the lack of blood on his bandages. He moved Kurt into the recovery position as he had seen them do on t.v. Once and went to his bathroom. Luckily his heart medication was still all present. Kurt had not taken an overdose.

"Carole." Burt shouted downstairs.

"Has Kurt eaten today?'

"No, what's wrong?"

"I think he fainted."

Burt bent down and hooked his arms below his son's knees and shoulders. He hated the way that his head hung limply and he didn't even stir. He briefly considered calling a doctor out but he knew that it might freak Kurt out and make him draw back into himself. He lifted Kurt with a small grunt just as Carole was coming up the stairs. She ran past him to open the door to the spare room and pull back the sheets. Burt laid him down gently.

"Is he alright?" Carole asked.

"I don't know."

"Do you want me to ring the doctor?"

"No, let's wait a little while and see if he wakes up."

Carole nodded. They stood staring down at Kurt for a long moment.

"I'm okay." Burt said. Carole nodded and left.

* * *

><p>Burt was in the middle of making a sandwich for Kurt when the phone rang. He picked it up.<p>

"Hello, Kurt Hummel speaking."

"Mr Hummel my name is detective Brimmer. I've been assigned your son's case. I understand that for emotional reasons your son has not made a statement yet. I would really like to organize a time for him to come in. I know it may seem to soon to you but there is a time limit on these things. To soon and the memories are to confused to late and the details start to fade."

The hand Burt still had clenched around a butter knife was shaking. He didn't want to do this. He knew he had to, he knew the man who had done this to Kurt had to pay for it. He wanted him to pay for it. And he wanted to be there for Kurt and take him to the police station to make his statement but honestly he didn't know how he was going to cope with hearing what had happened to his son.

"I'll talk to him."

"Bring him in Monday morning, that's when our counselor is here. We'll make sure he gets all the support he needs."

"I said I'll talk to him." Burt said slamming the phone down.

* * *

><p>Blaine was walking outside Kurt's door. Burt had kicked him out to be able to clean up the shattered glass and fix up Kurt's foot. Carole had taken a look at the slash and said that it wouldn't need stitches. She'd tried to reassure Blaine that Kurt was still weak from earlier that day and that the sudden shock of slicing his foot open caused his fainting spell. Blaine knew better though. He knew that Kurt had freaked out because of the flowers. There was something about them that had made him angry or scared or something. The moment he woke up Blaine was going to find out what it was.<p>

"Blaine?"

"Yeah." Blaine said rushing to the door.

"Stop pacing kid you're making me nervous."

Blaine sighed and glanced over at the bed where Kurt was still unconscious. He suddenly had an idea about how he could help him. He'd get Kurt's phone, he remembered it had dropped below his bed a few days previously. Perhaps get well soon messages from his friends would let him know just how much they love him.

Blaine crossed the hall and quietly went into Kurt's no longer smelled of hair products and perfumes but had a dusty smell and the slight tinge of copper. He would have to disinfect the bathroom again before Kurt moved back in. He knelt down next to the bed and dug out the phone. He checked the screen the battery was dead. He took it and looked around the room trying to remember where Kurt kept his charger. The spare wire draw, of course. He found the right charger and plugged the phone in.

"Blaine! Kurt is awake now."

Blaine rushed out to see his boyfriend.

* * *

><p>"Would you like your phone." Blaine asked an hour into their Audrey Hepburn marathon.<p>

He noticed Kurt blanch slightly.

"You don't have to talk to them if you don't want to Kurt. They'll understand and if they don't I'm not going to let them hassle you Kurt." Blaine reached for his hand. "I'll take care of you.."

"I don't need taking care of." Kurt practically whined.

"I only mean that I'll watch your back until you're a little stronger."

Kurt sighed and pulled his hand away. He looked down and was quiet for a long moment.

"I don't want my phone Blaine."

"Okay." Blaine relented. "Is it okay if I bring you a card from them?"

"Who from?"

"The glee club, and Mr. Shue. He was asking after you."

Kurt nodded.

"Blaine.. I feel really tired."

"Okay, I'm staying tonight.."

"No."

"Kurt..."

"I, uh I talked to my dad and he's okay with me just leaving the door open and uh Finn and him are keeping there doors open so I can stay alone and get a good night."

"Okay." Blaine said sadly. He was disappointed he wanted Kurt to want him to stay. He wanted him to want to have him here and not to just keep pushing him away. But he had to be patient and give him space, if he pushed him then he would just turn away. He bent down and kissed Kurt's smiled slightly as he brushed his fingers along Kurt's jaw.

"I don't think I've ever seen you with stubble before."

"It doesn't grow very fast." Kurt said reaching up to touch his own cheek. "Doesn't suite me."

"You're always beautiful, but yeah." Blaine said trying for a light hearted laugh that didn't come out right.

"Sleep well Kurt. Love you and I'll see you tomorrow."

As Blaine got up to leave he reminded himself to go take Kurt's phone of charge. He may not want it but still he would not be pleased if Blaine ruined the battery. He opened the door to Kurt's room quietly and unplugged the phone. Later he would give his reasons for turning it on to be that he missed how he and Kurt used to be and wanted to read some of the flirty texts they used to send. But really it was something else some force that drew him to it. He pressed the on button and waited for the welcome page to fade. He pressed the little button with the yellow envelope. As he did so the phone kept beeping with incoming texts from days previous .. Kurt's friend trying to contact him. He was surprised to see so many from Sebastian, after all he and Kurt were meant to hate each other. It took him a moment to realize that the texts were from last Friday and Saturday. The day when Kurt was attacked and the day he tried to commit suicide. Was Sebastian being a bad loser, he had lost at regional. Blaine felt a rising nausea that he couldn't explain. Some of the text were open. Knowing it was wrong he pressed his thumb to one to read it.

_I can't wait to see you again._

Blaine couldn't quiet believe it. Why would Sebastian send that? He and Kurt didn't see each other, they hated each other. Even before the slushie incident. He couldn't stop himself from clicking on another.

_How's Blaine? Have you told him he's not the only one whose got to fuck your ass._

Blaine felt a rising anger more angry than he had ever felt and lately the bar had been set high. He wanted to scream and break something but instead he pressed on another message with shaking fingers.

_You know what I'm going to do next time? Next time I'll make you cum. I'll make you hate yourself for feeling pleasure with the pain. I'll make you like it. I'll make you break. I don't care how long it takes. And then I'm going after Blaine._

Blaine flung the phone down and pushed the heels of his hand into his eyes. That faceless figure hurting Kurt was no longer faceless. It was Sebastien, Sebastian the boy he had brought into their lives. Sebastian had raped Kurt.


	17. Chapter 17

Perhaps this is actually the one you have all been waiting for.

* * *

><p>Nothing interesting ever happened at Dalton. At least nothing of interest until that day.<p>

Aaron had argued for weeks when his parents had first chosen to send him to Dalton. He had believed it would be full of boys who were posh and sheltered like him. Except he was rebelling against his parents and their money and their functions and their need for everything to be completely perfect all the time. But his arguments had not worked and his parents had packed his bags for him and left him at the school doors wearing the uniform he would have to wear five days an week for the next four years.

He hadn;t made friends at Dalton, the other freshmen saw him as angry and sour, which he was but at middle school he had always found other boys just as angry to hang around with and moan about the world. It was about three weeks in that he sneaked down the hallway to watch the Warblers perform. Yes they seemed a little prim and proper and they had a lot of rules and traditions but when they let loose their moves were sweet and they did sing a few tunes.

Aaron had never had any interest in singing but then again he had never gone three weeks without saying a word to anybody. He tried out singing a Bon Jovi song (old school can still be cool) and secured himself a place in the group humming along at the back. It wasn't glamorous but it came with a ready made group of friends.

That day had started normally. He had gone to his lesson and eaten potatoes and stew. Then he had gone to his room and done homework until the evening Warbler practice. Thad had banged his gavel against the desk.

"I call this session to order. I see no issues on the book are there any to be raised in the room."

There was no response.

"Okay, in that case on with practice. Have you all been practicing uptown girl?"

Aaron mumbled yes along with everybody else.

"Okay, triangular formation to start moving on to linear and then break free, I don't want any fighting for the spot light. Sebastian you are lead."

Sebastian Smyth, the rather smug and sarcastic seeming lead singer smiled and waved at everybody to get into the formation. Aaron took his place at the back. They had only just broken into the linear Poston on the first run through when the heavy wooden doors banged open.

A scarily furious boy with curly hair hanging down in front of his eyes and a deep scowl on his face walked in.

"Blaine!" Thad exclaimed.

The boy Blaine ignored him walking straight of to Sebastian. Aaron flinched as Blaine hit Sebastian square in the jaw with enough force to knock him over. Blaine did not stop, he kicked Sebastian in the stomach making him curl up.

"I'll kill you, I'll kill you." The boy growled.

Sebastian tried to cover his head as Blaine kicked him again and again until the other boys in the room finally snapped too and Thad and Logan grabbed Blaine's arms and pulled him backwards.

Aaron looked down at Sebastian lying on the floor coughing and wiping blood from his lips and then up at the deranged boy still fighting against Thad and Logan's hold on him until Jeff stood in front of him and pushed backwards on his shoulders.

"Blaine what the hell?" Thad said.

"He raped Kurt." Blaine said surging forwards again.

"He's crazy." Sebastian said fron t he floor where he had been able to raise himself up on an elbow.

"What?" Jeff asked surprised.

Aaron looked around, his other freshman warblers looked just as surprised as he did but the older boys although surprised seemed to know who the boy was and who he was talking about.

"He raped Kurt. After Regionals, in the locker room." Blaine said turning his head to Thad and then looking back with hatred at Sebastian. "He tried to kill himself because of you."

"Kurt tried to kill himself?" Logan said stunned.

"Yes."

"He's nuts, Kurt slit his wrists because he's a crappy boyfriend and he's gone insane from guilt."

The other boys seemed to be starting to come out of their shock and take in what was going on. Aaron still had no idea, but this was the most exciting thing to ever happen at Dalton.

"He tried to kill himself because you raped him!" Blaine shouted struggling once more against the hold of the three taller could see tears running down his face and he suddenly felt a surge of sympathy as he realized that somebody this boy loved had been hurt. Now the Warblers were all looking at Sebastian, still on the floor still bleeding from his mouth. There was something about him, Aaron could see that now, something vicious about the way he talked to the distressed boy, something desperate in his eyes.

"He's nuts." Sebastian said looking around the room at the other boys.

"I have evidence, those text, you just couldn;t stop yourself could you?"

Something inside Blain seemed to collapse. Jeff caught him and held him tight giving a worried glance to Logan and Thad.

"Why him? I love him. Why did you hurt him? Why couldn't you leave us alone?"

The doors slammed open a second time and Mr. Watson the head teacher stormed straight in looking down at Sebastian and across at Blaine. The noise must have been heard all the way down to his office.

"I've called the police. Mr Smyth, do you need to go to the hospital."

"The nurse please Mr. Watson."

Mr. Watson nodded.

"Mr. Anderson." He shook his head. "I had not expected this of you."

* * *

><p>The whole family had decided to get an early night. The Hudson Hummel clan had been through a lot in the last week and they were all exhausted. Burt had checked that Kurt was fast asleep and that his door was wide open before going to his own bedroom. He closed the door as he and Carole got undressed and then opened it again so that he would be able to hear Kurt. He looked down the hallway and saw that Finn also had kept his door open. He smiled lightly to himself. They were all keeping their ears open for Kurt that night and he and Carole already had an unspoken agreement to check in on him during the night.<p>

The phone woke Burt up suddenly. At first he looked around groggily wondering why his alarm clock had gone off then when he had come too slightly he took the phone and answered it as he walked to Kurt's room to check he was alright.

"Hello."

"Mr Hummel?"

"Speaking."

Burt glanced into Kurt's room. He was sleeping peacefully. Obviously tired out completely from the way he had pushed himself during the day. He turned away not wanting to wake him.

"My name is officer Davis at the Westerville police station. Are you the legal guardian of Blaine Hummel?"

"Blaine? Do you mean Anderson?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end and for a second Burt wondered if there had been some kind of accident. He preyed silently that there had not been Kurt would not survive losing Blaine.

"The teacher said his name was Anderson but the boy said his name was Hummel and as the others agreed with him we wondered if the teacher had got it wrong. Are you his guardian?"

Burt let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, Blaine was alright. But that meant the police were calling for some other reason. He quickly made a decision.

"Is he at the police station?"

"Yes." The police officer must have taken this as an agreement to him being Blaine's guardian. "We need you to come, we can;t interview him without an adult."

"I'm on my way, I'll be about an hour and a half."

He hung up and walked to his bedroom to start getting dressed. Carole looked up as he walked in.

"Who was that?"

"The police, they've got Blaine."

Carole sat up shocked.

"Why?"

"Didn't ask."

"Why did they call you?"

"He called himself Hummel."

"Why?"

"Didn't ask." Burt finished buttoning up his shirt and bent to kiss her on the cheek.

"Look." He said with a sigh. "That kid's been through a lot lately and he's really been there for Kurt. I think I owe him the opportunity to explain face to face."

Carole nodded running her hands through her hair.

"Look after Kurt for me."

"I will."

"Don't tell him about Blaine."

She shook her head in agreement. Burt kissed her again and went downstairs. Burt made himself a mug of coffee before getting in the car. Westerville police station was well over and hours drive away.


	18. Chapter 18

Sorry for the wait, I'm at the point where I don't know what I'm doing with this story. Also being British I really have to look up what a district attorney is because I do not have a clue. I think I'm going to do another Sebastian chapter soon, explain a little more about what happens in this chapter because the phone thing is going to confuse a few people, no he is not an idiot, yes he does think himself invincible. Okay, here we go...

* * *

><p>Blaine was sat with his head between his hands and his elbows rested on the hard metal desk. As Burt looked through the little window of the room he couldn't;t help feel sorry for the boy. He looked so young and broken and angry. His hair had worked itself out of its gel, his shirt was a little ripped at the shoulder seams and his left hand seemed swollen. The police had already filled him in on what was happening, Blaine, one of the more even tempered boys he had ever meet had apparently driven to Westerville to break the rib of a district attorneys son. Something about it really wasn't adding up.<p>

Burt had also explained to the police that he wasn't Blaine's guardian. But a close friend of the families and as Blaine had been through some really tough times and had chosen to call him he thought it would be best to come and see if the boy was willing to open up to him. One of the police officers recognized him as Kurt's father, they had nodded at each other in the hospital. He had whispered something into the other officers ear and he had nodded. They had called Blaine's parents and they had agreed that Burt could act as Blaine's guardian until they got there.

"Burt Hummel is here Blaine, and you're parents are on the way." The police officer whose name Burt couldn't be bothered to remember said as he came in. He sat across from Blaine and Burt took the seat beside him. Blaine looked up at him with red eyes.

"We haven't got long kid."

"Excuse me Mr. Hummel, I have some questions I want to ask Blaine."

"So have I." Burt said with a pointed stare. "Let me do this my way for a few minutes."  
>The police officer frowned but did not say anything.<p>

"Blaine?"

"Sorry I called you." Blaine muttered. " I didn't think. I just... Is Kurt okay?"

"Kurt is fine, I'm not worried about Kurt right now. I am a little bit worried about the fact that you are here in a police station."

Blaine looked embarrassed.

"Look kid, tell me what happened?"

Blaine looked down. He seemed to clamp shut.

"You called me for a reason Kid."

Blaine's hands clenched against each other on the desk. Burt sighed.

"Okay, who is Sebastian Smyth? I have to say I've overheard his name in some conversations but I got the feeling that Kurt doesn't like him."

Blaine suddenly banged his hand against the table. The police officer went to move, perhaps to restrain him but Burt held his hand up and then reached out to Blaine. Burt was silent, he knew that if he waited it out Blaine would tell him what was going on. It seemed like his mind was just to busy to let him talk at that moment or at least that's how Burt saw it but he couldn't really know what was going on in the boys mind.

"He hurt Kurt." Blaine growled after several minutes of silence, his hands still pumping.

* * *

><p>Burt was looking across the table at him. Blaine knew he was being patient with him but he really couldn't put what he was thinking into words. His head was just spinning, he felt like he just wanted to scream.<p>

"What?" Burt asked his tone harsh. Even thought Blaine knew the anger wasn't aimed at him he still flinched.

"It was Sebastian, he was the one who... hurt Kurt."

"What is he talking about?" The police officer asked.

"My son was raped ten days ago." Burt said.

"If this is connected to another case then I'm going to have to get somebody else in on this."

"Just wait will you." Burt said in an annoyed tone.

"Mr. Hummel, there's a way of doing things for a reason."

"Blaine, " Burt's voice trembled slightly as he ignored the officer. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ah, that's a serious accusation Blaine. Do you have any evidence?" The police officer asked.

Blaine looked up just in time to see Burt shot the officer another dark look. Burt could be a scary man and as he was starting to take up his place as a U.S. senator he was also growing more confident in his authority.

"How do you know?"

"There were text messages on Kurt's phone. " Blaine let the angry tears fall down his face. "They were horrible, he told him to kill himself, he told him that you and his mother would be ashamed of him and I'd never want him again."

Blaine jumped as Burt's fists slammed against the table.

"The little sod. " He shouted as he turned to the police officer . "Are you going to do something about this?"

"How did you know the text messages were from Sebastian.?"

Blaine froze.

"I recognized the number?"

That was odd now that Blaine stopped to think about it. Why would Sebastian send text messages like that to Kurt? It was practically a confession. Could he really be that much of an egomaniac that he thought he couldn't be found out? Or could somebody else have used Sebastian's phone? No he was sure that it was Sebastian, he had seen it in his eyes. He knew that he had raped his boyfriend. Did he think he was invincible? Was he a psycho? It seemed like it taking the texts into account. Blaine just found himself shaking his head. He couldn't understand it.

"He used his own phone?"

"Um... yeah." Blaine said. "I don;t know why.."

"That's okay. So Blaine why did you go and attack Mr. Smyth instead of coming to us with the evidence."

"I wanted him to pay."

"Dave." They were interrupted by another officer shooing his head around the door. "The Anderson's are here."

"Okay. Bring them in. Excuse me for a moment." He said getting up and walking out.

Burt looked across at Blaine.

"I should be going, you're parents aren't going to be wanting me interfering. I don't know what's going to happen Blaine, you're old enough to be treated like an adult in this situation, and it is serious. Not that I blame you in the slightest, good knows if I was the one who had found out I would have broken a lot more than his ribs. Get you're parents to call me I can pull any strings and help put up a bail if you need it."

Blaine nodded. He couldn't really process what Burt was telling him, he knew that attacking Sebastian was serious and that he may end up having to go to court or something but it didn't seem real to him. He felt Burt's hand squeezing his shoulder.

"You're a good kid Blaine."

Then Burt was gone and a few seconds later he was replaced with Blaine's mother who was suddenly had her arms draped round his neck and his father who was already shouting at him. He knew he would not be happy that he was here and he knew that he would blame it on Kurt. Perhaps call him a flirt or say he deserved it, he had heard words like that from him before. He wondered if he would get through whatever was about to come without punching his father as well.

* * *

><p>Kurt started awake. He had sensed the other person in his room but did not expect to see his father sat over him.<p>

"Dad?" He asked taking in his tired eyes and wondering if he had sat up watching him all night. Would they ever trust him again?

"Something happened last night."

"What?" Kurt felt the waves of panic attack him again. Would he ever be over this feeling? The constant panic the numbness in his arms?

"Blaine attacked a boy called Sebastian Smyth."

Kurt felt his throat closing up again, it was like a red hot band of metal was being tightened around his chest but he knew he could not show how much that name made him sick. How it made him wish that he had died so that he wouldn't have to deal with this kind of fear,s ot hat he would never hear that name or see that face again. His Dad was looking at him intently, Kurt wondered how much he knew. He set his face to a look of surprise.

"What? Blaine attacked somebody. Why would Blaine do that?"

Burt stared at him for a long time.

"I was hoping that you could tell me that, do you know the Sebastian boy?"

"Yeah, he's one of the warblers."

"So.. was he there at Regionals?"

Kurt knew that his breath as coming out in short pants there were black spots in front of his eyes.

"Yeah."

Kurt felt a hand rest against his shoulder.

"Kurt, come on. We've never kept anything from each other. Just tell me."

Kurt felt tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Dad, I... I can't." He croaked.

He didn't want his dad to know, he didn't want him to look at him and to see what had happened to him. He didn't want his dad to know how weak he had been how much he had cried. It was bad enough that he had seen Kurt's wrists and seen him catatonic. His Dad pulled him into a gentle hug the flannel against his cheek and the smell of his after shave were so familiar, he had smelt them a thousand times as a child.

"Kurt, you need to go to the police station."

"NO!"

"Kurt, Blaine's facing a court case. He broke that ... that.. he broke his ribs. The police say it was an unprovoked attack but if they knew the circumstances and if this Sebastian kid was the one .. then maybe it would help Blaine. You do want to help Blaine don't you?"

"I would do anything for him Dad."

"Then do this for him. It might be the hardest thing you do in your life but it may help Blaine."

He had been trying to protect Blaine from what had happened to him. He knew he had hurt him so badly, he didn't want him to experience any more hurt. But it seemed Blaine had found out somehow and now he was in trouble and it was all Kurt's fault. He had to try fix this but he just couldn't tell anybody about what had happened, he didn't think he would ever recover from the shame. He didn't think he would ever get over the feel of having that horrible body against his.

"I can't I can't Dad.. I don't want to think about it." He didn't mention that he felt that it would kill him to do so.

"I'll be there for you Kurt."

"I don't want you to hear."

"Hey look at me."

His dad put his hand below his chin and tilted it up so that he had too look into his eyes. So similar to his own.

"It does not matter what you say in there or what happened to you Kurt. You are my son and I love you, you just need to be strong and brave for a bit longer. I know you can do it. You've always been so strong. So, lets start with this. Was It Sebastian?"

"Yes. Dad he said he'd go after Blaine ."

"Well that's not going to happen now. Because were going to make sure he gets locked up for a long time. Thank you for telling me Kurt."

Kurt nodded and felt something inside him collapsed he let himself drop into his fathers arms and sobbed. He had just fucked up so much.


	19. Chapter 19

Half Alive. 

Sebastian put his pot of jelly down and licked his spoon, lime jello it reminded him of sick days as a child. He shifted to put his empty tub on the table and felt a sharp pain in his side followed by a dull ache. That beautiful bastard had broke his ribs. Still, he had got to see Blaine lose his temper and he had been the sexiest thing on earth. God he'd almost been hard when he had been fighting against those warbler pricks. It might hurt now but he had great wank material for the next few years and he was going to make him pay, he was going to get him put away just as soon as his dad got back.

There was one problem though. Kurt had told Blaine, oh he was going to ay for that one, however sexy the consequences. He had no idea how he'd get Blaine now. He was going to tap that arse again, he was going to screw him till he would never sit down again.

A small part of Sebastian was worried. Kurt had told somebody, the boy who had not even fought and tried to kill himself over a bit of sex had somehow got the guts to tell somebody that he was a dirty little slut. What would happen if he told the police? Should he just drop Blaine's charges and keep his head down. But Kurt was a wimp and he was sure he'd be able to get him to keep his mouth shut. All he had to do was threaten his little Blaine. perhaps that was the way to ensure his silence. Perhaps he should tell Little Girly Kurtie that his Dad was a district attorney and that he would ensure that Blaine got the longest sentence possible unless Kurt never told anybody.

It was a plan. He smiled sweetly as a nurse came in.

"Hey Sebastian, how are you feeling now?"

"Still a little pain."

"Well, I'll go get some more pain killers for you. You're mother has almost done signing you out."

"Thank you Nurse Mandy."

"You're welcome young man. Now you stay away from the nasty boys won't you."

"I don't think he was a nasty boy Mandy, he was just really angry. I can't really understand it but I know there are people out there who don't have families as loving as mine or don't have as many opportunities, I can forgive them for being angry."

"Oh your such a good boy. You will look after yourself won't you? I don't want to see you in here again."

"Oh, I'll look after myself."

* * *

><p>"Kurt Phone!"<p>

"I don't want to talk to anybody." Kurt said sniffling into his pillow. It had been another day when he just could not bare to get out of bed. After agreeing to talk to the police with his Father they had made the phone call together and the police had been happy to give him one more day for the memories to settle. They told him that they often allowed time to pass between traumatic incidents and statements.

"It's Blaine, Kurt." Carole shouted.

Kurt looked up, for a moment he was torn he didn't want to talk to Blaine about what had happened, especially now that he knew about Sebastian but he was so worried for Blaine. Usually he didn't sleep because every time he shut his eyes he saw Sebastian, last night he couldn't sleep because he was worried about Blaine. He couldn't imagine his sweet boyfriend in a police station, had they put him in a cell? It must have been awful and it was all because of Kurt.

Carole appeared at his door holding out the phone.

"Talk to him." She said.

Kurt nodded and took it off of her. He held it up to his ear but had no idea what to say.

"Kurt? Kurt are you there?"

Blaine's voice sounded tired but it was still his wonderful warming tones that Kurt loved so much.

"I'm here. Blaine, I'm so sorry, are you alright?"

"You've got nothing to be sorry about Kurt, I.. I wanted him to pay. I know I shouldn't have.. but I don't regret it,not one bit I just wished I broke more than his ribs before they pulled me off of him."

Kurt had never heard his boyfriend sound so angry. He hated that Blaine had to go through this. He hated that they couldn't be together and that this is what had become of them. Blaine angry and in trouble and him not knowing what to say to his own boyfriend, well Ex boyfriend but Kurt just had to much going on to be able to take that in properly yet.

"Is he going to press charges?"

"I don't know yet. Apparently he's waiting for legal advice, his father whose did you know a district attorney is away. They'll probably press charges when he gets back. The police released me to my parent and told me to stay in the state. This is so fucked up Kurt, that after what he did to you he doesn't get any punishment."

Kurt took a deep breath.

"I can't... I can't promise..."

"Kurt? What is it?"

"Tomorrow, I'm going to the police station."

"Are you going to give a statement?"

"I'm going to try."

"You're so brave Kurt."

"I'm not, I'm terrified Blaine." Kurt changed the topic before he could start crying. "But it might change things for you. I don't want you to have to go to prison because of this." Tears just started running down his cheeks, he couldn't stand the idea of Blaine in a cell.

"Do you want me to come with you Kurt?"

"No, you shouldn't have to hear this."

"And you shouldn't have to do it alone, Kurt I'm here for you whatever you need. I love you."

Kurt laid back down on his bed. Blaine who had always been there for him and always comforted him, he actually wanted him there. He felt he wouldn't be able to talk in front of his Dad or Blaine but perhaps if he just closed his eyes and told him everything then tomorrow it would be easier. Kurt gasped at the thought, he wanted to tell Blaine. He wanted to tall him because he wanted Blaine to accept him despite it all. He wanted Blaine to love him. He knew he wasn't good enough for him anymore but he really wanted Blaine to love him.

"Kurt? Are you okay?"

"He said your name."

"What?"

"Sebastian, he kept saying your name. I was really scared that he would go after you but I just couldn't tell you. It just.. It hurt, and I was terrified, it was the worst thing I have ever felt. I just couldn't;t believe what was happening to me. I was sick, I just.. ." Kurt took a deep breath, he didn't know how to express himself, he didn't;t know how to tell Blaine what he was feeling what it was like, how he still had nightmares and could still smell Sebastian on his skin.

"Why are you telling me this Kurt? I mean, you can tell me anything but why now?"

"I just.. I .. I want to test myself. Make sure I can do it tomorrow."

"You can Kurt and Sebastian is not going to hurt either of us ever again."

"Come with me, tomorrow?"

"I will Kurt. Whatever you say in that room. I still love you."

"Thank you Blaine. You're.. you're one of the best people in the world Blaine."

"Kurt.. now that I know.."

Kurt rubbed the tears from his face,he knew what Blaine was trying to say, he knew that he had to tell him that he had to find somebody else because Kurt was too broken to be his boyfriend. He knew it was for the best but he just didn't have the strength to do it.

"You were trying to keep it all from me.. but.. now.. Kurt, do you still love me?"

The worry and pain in Blaine's voice almost broke Kurt's heart.

"Yes, Blaine, I'll always love you." 


End file.
